by Max Barry

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The Constitutional Monarchy of Loehmakistan

“Warmest Greetings” Sir Kyle

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Below Average
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Page

Location: Canada

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Loehmakistan

Population14.962 billion

CapitalKylestonia
LeaderSir Kyle

CurrencyDollar
AnimalPig

The Constitutional Monarchy of Loehmakistan is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Sir Kyle with an even hand, and notable for its national health service, ubiquitous missile silos, and sprawling nuclear power plants. The compassionate, hard-working population of 14.962 billion Loehmakistanians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The relatively small government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Kylestonia. The average income tax rate is 7.4%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Loehmakistanian economy, worth a remarkable 3,510 trillion Dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Arms Manufacturing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an amazing 234,653 Dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.2 times as much as the poorest.

The freedom to be free is always just out of reach, protestors are soaking piles of Dollars in blood to make a point about government incomes, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles', and diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Loehmakistan's national animal is the Pig, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Loehmakistan is ranked 165,899th in the world and 101st in Canada for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides, with 2.16 Rich To Poor Income Ratio.

Top
1%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 119thSafest: 455thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 622ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 738thHealthiest Citizens: 798thLongest Average Lifespans: 1,076thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,356thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,594thBest Weather: 1,612thLowest Crime Rates: 1,750thTop
5%
Largest Retail Industry: 2,907thMost Efficient Economies: 2,947thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,705thHighest Economic Output: 3,778thHighest Average Incomes: 4,189thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 4,504thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,742ndLowest Overall Tax Burden: 4,831stMost Stationary: 5,176thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,514thMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,369thMost Developed: 6,398thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,483rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,996thMost Inclusive: 7,061stLargest Governments: 7,237thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,276thMost Compassionate Citizens: 7,645thNicest Citizens: 8,008thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,132ndSmartest Citizens: 8,940thMost Influential: 10,441stTop
10%
Most Secular: 13,855thMost Advanced Public Transport: 14,414thLargest Publishing Industry: 14,418thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 15,284thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 15,397thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 15,616thMost Cheerful Citizens: 15,685thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 16,100thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,290thLargest Populations: 16,766thMost Beautiful Environments: 17,552ndMost Advanced Public Education: 19,402nd
Top
1%
Safest: 1st in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Highest Workforce Participation Rate: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 4th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 5th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 7th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 8th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 8th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 8th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 8th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 8th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 9th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 11th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 12th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 13th in the regionBest Weather: 13th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 13th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 14th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 14th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 14th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 15th in the regionMost Stationary: 15th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 16th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 17th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, diplomatic missions typically end with a flurry of childish insults, accusations and phlegm.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, the military maintains a fierce arsenal of 'Cure Missiles'.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, protestors are soaking piles of Dollars in blood to make a point about government incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, the freedom to be free is always just out of reach.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, baby dolls thrown in the trash are a leading cause of panic attacks.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, statistics show that terrorists often come from broken families.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, neon signs promoting safe driving often distract drivers.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, small patches of desolate land across the world are part of Loehmakistanian sovereign territory.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, things are looking up for patients accidentally prescribed erectile dysfunction medication.
  • : Following new legislation in Loehmakistan, serial commas clarify the relationship between one's lackeys, the taxpayers, and kinsfolk.

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