by Max Barry

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The Country of Longsword01

“Protect and support each other” Captain Laskey

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Page

Location: The North Pacific



Population4.362 billion

LeaderCaptain Laskey

CurrencyFruits and vegetables
AnimalLekgoto worm

The Country of Longsword01 is a massive, efficient nation, ruled by Captain Laskey with an iron fist, and notable for its museums and concert halls, frequent executions, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 4.362 billion Swords are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized morass — prioritizes Defense, with Environment, Administration, and Law & Order also on the agenda, while Welfare receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Infinity. The average income tax rate is 98.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Longsword01ian economy, worth 684 trillion Fruits and vegetableses a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 156,900 Fruits and vegetableses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Courses in how to boil water are popular for formerly microwave-reliant Swords, military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner, exceptionally healthy police officers can sprint after crooks for hours on end, and the people consider response to rudeness to be an acceptable casus belli. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Longsword01's national animal is the Lekgoto worm, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Longsword01 is ranked 163,453rd in the world and 8,499th in The North Pacific for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring -10 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.

Most Primitive: 193rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 381stMost World Assembly Endorsements: 417thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 436thMost Ignorant Citizens: 452ndMost Devout: 668thBest Weather: 697thMost Influential: 765thMost Beautiful Environments: 963rdMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,107thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 1,644thTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 1,982ndLongest Average Lifespans: 2,167thLargest Governments: 3,242ndMost Corrupt Governments: 3,626thLargest Black Market: 4,360thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 4,632ndLowest Crime Rates: 4,730thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,036thMost Cultured: 5,043rdMost Subsidized Industry: 5,192ndMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,525thHighest Poor Incomes: 6,110thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 6,878thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 7,685thTop
Most Efficient Economies: 8,463rdMost Authoritarian: 8,882ndHighest Average Incomes: 11,166thHealthiest Citizens: 14,945thMost Inclusive: 15,354th
Most Primitive: 6th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 16th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 18th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 21st in the regionMost Devout: 33rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 42nd in the regionBest Weather: 43rd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 58th in the regionTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 99th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 103rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 135th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 136th in the regionLargest Black Market: 142nd in the regionLargest Governments: 146th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 198th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 206th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 211th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 222nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 247th in the regionMost Cultured: 253rd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 259th in the regionMost Influential: 273rd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 306th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 315th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 318th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 360th in the regionTop
Most Authoritarian: 528th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 531st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 693rd in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 789th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Longsword01 endorsed The Absurd Memory of Ravendi.
  • : Longsword01 was endorsed by The Absurd Memory of Ravendi.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, the people consider response to rudeness to be an acceptable casus belli.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, exceptionally healthy police officers can sprint after crooks for hours on end.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, military doctrine says not to open fire until you see the "beady little eyes" of Johnny Foreigner.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, courses in how to boil water are popular for formerly microwave-reliant Swords.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, foreign livestock are offered asylum.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, the police are tightening their grip on alcohol smugglers.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, all writing must pass a censorship board before being allowed on the shelves.
  • : Following new legislation in Longsword01, almost half of the child population live rough on the streets.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 227 » Yaorozu, The Rhein States, Notyoutopia, Siwale, Shin-Hachioji, Buckerino, Territorio di Nessuno, PlanetPunk, Sundred, Corfad, Kwaj, Koda-Land, Pallaith, Newpromisedland, Selfgradatude, Shibutani, United Draconia, Votak Matim, Holy Oranz, Babacar, Frances Francis the First of France, Malta Comino Gozo, New Pruessen, Great Bights Mum, Dar es Saalam, Niradans, Sinelona, Sunto, Former English Colony, Valhalla123, Shadowrik, New Bremerton, Wilkshire, Spartoptia, Wineclaw, Minuda, The Austro Germanic Union, Universal State Formula, Vincone Cae, North Bratislava, Kasazzastan, The Iron Lions, Ethnon, Cloydicia, Highton Islands, Diodone, El Fiji Grande, Kobagia, Napnomadia, Dreadton, and 177 others.Bearical, The Windmilluminati, Kulgatha, Ostrolia, Amauri, Omnistria, Federation Terra Australis, Hong Kong Empire, Unsophisticate, Lunallian, Black Templares, Outer Egorniand, Ninjak30, Empy, Pleroma Sans Romans, Xentherida, Zumlandia, The South Falls, Yukti, Partax, Maott, Joodey, Ham Federation, General COE, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Pasargad, Steraz, Alunya, Moubarakistan, Ainsworth, Ozstan, British Bayonet, Atain, The Sinclarian Provinces, Guer Aike, Union of Austria-Hungary, Q w e r t y, Sil Dorsett, Egalico, Solmetria, Acrabinnia, Torakuen, Fayyayid, Guslantis, Lemonbiscuits, Sea Ghost, Ibiscaton, Advancia-Sizzletown, Spunkland, Saturns Edge, Misuvelia, Zemnaya Svoboda, Orven, Jasminlandia, Steampunk Ariel, Plangainer, Trillius, Haor Chall, Unimaginable Doom, Revolutionary Sealand, Soviet Terran, Free Culture, Victoriaans Nederlands, Choistan, Nakayo, 1 very fast endotarter, Aratani, Bananoonza, Yummy Blubber, Ikea Rike, Drusselstein, 2 and 2 is Fish, Dopeland420, Newam, Abject Ludicrosity, British Pacific Islands, Loutsland, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Centromuria, Prydania, Noahs Second Country, Abiswashyo-bhumi, Test for a new hope, Felpolandia, The Stratosphere Islands, Rynion, Venezuelia, Indiana Hoosier nation, Antityranicals, Elder Realms, Fizban, GRANDE IMPERIO ORIENTAL PAGAO EUDUARDO, Zupla, SORT, Chukstik Illahi, Constantinolia, Dadastan Archipelago, Makersaulache, Glurponia, Xzavia-Hjar, Brettenia, Zozanio, ZimRobwe, 5 kingdoms of Britannia, Zokk, Orado, Humptalumpta, Great Javadwipa, Aetulia, Sockmanland, Lorigia, Landnovia, Penrith, Rkainjel, Runeda, Daiz, Yabkhu, Karazan, Yugobatania, Arimbia, Aroa, Analomink, Antiyard, New Lakemba, Asthea, Cuyan, Seenvorland, Zankioa, Concordare, The Tampa Bay Rays, The Gamer Party, Lindsaystan, New Octicarg, PotatoFarmers, Styrica, Duerrlewang, Zeternia, Lesbian Femdom, McMasterdonia, Wisconsota, Miamington, Miruma, Alice Gardens, U S Eh, Racoda, Alusten, Ponantine, The Nation that will win Soops for 9003, Gnomewatchers, Tamgu, Potestasia, Ice and Tinian, Nordic-British Union, Loli County, Eteles, Avenged Sevenfoldia, Prevaland, Nothru Lerple, Angshire, Lendara, Serendipita Martia, The Jerichowan Country, United Kahndaq, Kranostav, Clan Spaniel, Russilina, Pazair, Aeolist, Aezus, United Western Federation, Viridiann, Dabarastan, Zyvetskistaahn, United Anglo-America, Parmovand, Eravonia, and Ravendi.

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