what are these names lol

The Lorp Worubleion JournalSpecial Edition: This issue may unlock a custom field.

VOL. 32 NO. 241CITY FINAL
MONDAY NOVEMBER 6, 2023
A Capital City for Lorp Worubleion?

The Issue
As Lorp Worubleion continues to grow, so too does its government. The number of politicians needed to administrate and legislate the country is rapidly surpassing the Houses of Parliament’s capacity with ministers often requiring periscopes to see the House Speaker. Some are suggesting a new building be built in another city - a city which would then be designated as the capital city of Lorp Worubleion.

The Debate
“I would like to make a humble recommendation for my own proud jurisdiction,” says Thomas Mann, mayor of one of Lorp Worubleion’s major cities. “It would be an honour for our city to be host to the seat of power! If it will seal the deal, you can change the name if you like...”

Accept

“Hah! Capital city indeed!” shouts Bhooshit Skywalker, a fervent anarchist, spilling leaflets all over the floor. “What’s wrong with being free as the wind? Do you really think one city could possibly represent a whole country? Its people? I’ve had enough of the man trying to screw us down all the time! Say NO to a national capital!”

Accept

“I can accept and even approve of having a capital city,” says Georgina Blofeld, a military strategist. “But we’d be putting all our eggs in one basket if we choose somewhere too vulnerable! Believe me, capitals always get the brunt of the enemy attack because of their political and economic importance. We should put aside a few billion florins and build our capital city underground. They’ll never bomb us there!”

Accept

“I’ve got an idea,” says theme park tycoon, Lindsay Tew. “My company will happily sponsor the new establishment and cover all costs - as long as it’s made to our specifications. We’ve already got plans drawn up to put a roller coaster straight through the House of Commons! A cafe, some kiosks for ice cream... maybe even a water slide or two in the lobby! It’ll be one part legislative seat of government, one part family-fun theme park! Tourists will flock from around the globe!”

Accept

“What’s wrong with the old building?” asks Lenny Haaland, a noted antiestablishmentarian. “We don’t need some kind of fancy capital city just to make the bigwig ministers feel important! If there’s no room, then fire politicians until there IS room. Have you never heard of doing more with less?”