by Max Barry

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The Most Serene Republic of Los Lonley Boys

“I'm Not Cucumber”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: the South Pacific


Los Lonley Boys

Population624 million



The Most Serene Republic of Los Lonley Boys is a huge, safe nation, notable for its daily referendums, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The compassionate, democratic population of 624 million Los Lonley Boysians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sauđárkrókur. The average income tax rate is 67.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The all-consuming Los Lonley Boysian economy, worth 58.1 trillion Lonelies a year, is quite specialized and led by the Trout Farming industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Beef-Based Agriculture, and Cheese Exports. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 93,088 Lonelies, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

Teenage TV characters are played by thirty-year-olds by the end of the second season, powerful x-ray machines used by the Customs Department can see into the homes of nearby residents, people believe that if you teach a man to fish he won't buy fish from you any more, and the nation's universities are often mistaken for foreign embassies. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Los Lonley Boys's national animal is the Chupacabra, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Los Lonley Boys is ranked 16,392nd in the world and 498th in the South Pacific for Most Developed, scoring 79.24 on the Human Development Index.

Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 918thTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,050thMost Influential: 4,183rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 5,313thMost Secular: 5,932ndTop
Largest Welfare Programs: 9,717thSafest: 9,731stNicest Citizens: 9,886thMost Compassionate Citizens: 9,886thMost Pacifist: 10,526thBest Weather: 11,196thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 11,477thLongest Average Lifespans: 14,094thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 14,634thMost Beautiful Environments: 14,797th
Largest Trout Fishing Sector: 39th in the regionTop
Largest Agricultural Sector: 150th in the regionMost Secular: 224th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 273rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 285th in the regionTop
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 327th in the regionSafest: 350th in the regionNicest Citizens: 351st in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 358th in the regionBest Weather: 371st in the regionMost Pacifist: 405th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 420th in the regionMost Influential: 431st in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 451st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 456th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 467th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 491st in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 496th in the regionMost Developed: 498th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 520th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 525th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 537th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 549th in the regionMost Inclusive: 549th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 556th in the regionMost Cultured: 582nd in the region

National Happenings

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