by Max Barry

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The Los'onyy Soyuz of Lotion Empire

“Vozrozhdeniye | Rebirth” Pavlov Iosif Privykia ''Los'on V''

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific


Lotion Empire

Population6.342 billion

LeaderPavlov Iosif Privykia ''Los'on V''

AnimalGolden Eagle

The Los'onyy Soyuz of Lotion Empire is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Pavlov Iosif Privykia ''Los'on V'' with an even hand, and notable for its sprawling nuclear power plants, public floggings, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 6.342 billion Lotionese are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The enormous, corrupt government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, although Industry and Law & Order are also considered important, while International Aid receives no funds. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Los'ongrad. The average income tax rate is 98.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Lotionese economy, worth a remarkable 1,752 trillion Ludons a year, is quite specialized and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, and Woodchip Exports. Average income is an amazing 276,389 Ludons, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.7 times as much as the poorest.

Depression sinks in after each election when voters realize they are stuck with these people for years, government buildings are being cleansed of anything that might have racist connotations, it is said that a Lotionese woman's work is never done, and old folks reminisce about the last time someone was acquitted of a crime. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orthodox.

Lotion Empire is ranked 10,470th in the world and 545th in The North Pacific for Most Primitive, scoring 91.09 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 27thMost Subsidized Industry: 156thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 437thMost Corrupt Governments: 607thMost Valuable International Artwork: 638thRudest Citizens: 647thLargest Black Market: 975thMost Efficient Economies: 1,444thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 1,472ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,747thMost Avoided: 1,899thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,900thTop
Largest Governments: 2,096thLargest Mining Sector: 2,257thMost Influential: 2,321stHighest Average Incomes: 2,513thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 2,581stHighest Poor Incomes: 2,953rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 3,512thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,998thMost Advanced Public Transport: 5,227thNudest: 5,480thMost Secular: 7,615thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,678thLowest Crime Rates: 7,801stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 8,606thHighest Economic Output: 8,812thTop
Most Primitive: 10,470thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 10,848thLargest Welfare Programs: 12,130th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 22nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 25th in the regionLargest Black Market: 42nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 47th in the regionMost Avoided: 62nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 69th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 81st in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 87th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 89th in the regionTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 92nd in the regionLargest Governments: 103rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 119th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 124th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 177th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 180th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 188th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 198th in the regionNudest: 232nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 270th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 273rd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 380th in the regionMost Secular: 425th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 428th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 440th in the regionTop
Most Primitive: 545th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 563rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 614th in the regionMost Influential: 750th in the regionLargest Populations: 820th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 145 » Solphine, Fauzjhia, ArizonaRepublic, Ihsan, Kragsgale, Prydania, Omnistria, Mon Island, Principia Mathematica, Runeda, Ihese, Aerilia, Ethnon, Orado, Madjack, Votak Matim, Great Bights Mum, Visse, Arichia, Selfgradatude, Interdimensional Zone, Guer Aike, Hamerica, Corfad, Shinjuku tokyo 0, Kranostav, Zzozona, Dabarastan, Notyoutopia, Therizia, Damsmel, Ardretia, The Democratic Kingdom Of Skaraborg, Avastate, Orogonia, Kenaniahistan, Cosmosplosion, The Endless Eventide, Andexia, Siwale, Shibutani, Cretox State, Lulubellia, New Lakemba, Eschatosia, Westinor, Morover, Ravendi, East Akra, Sikol, and 95 others.Kocherian, Libertania Democratica, Noahs Second Country, Yaorozu, The Tampa Bay Rays, Necromonia, Koda-Land, El Fiji Grande, Imperial American Patriots, Pazair, Clan Spaniel, Eywaan, Illusia and Neverendia, Harjad, Zumlandia, Praeceps, Vincone Cae, Heilhum Imperius, Territorio di Nessuno, Sundred, Newpromisedland, Xipher, 1 very fast endotarter, Pallaith, Amerian States, Abject Ludicrosity, Empy, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Dreadton, Dar es Saalam, U S Eh, The Iron Lions, Loutsland, WeKnow, Holy Empire Of Greater Bavaria, Jestings, New Octicarg, Healiopolis, Basedania, Nouvelle-Floride, Sunto, Kartujia, Xagill, The Canadian Peoples Republic, Rimausean, Holy Oranz, McMasterdonia, Simone Republic, El Emayo, Comfed, Xyrron, Lanorth, Daiz, Sil Dorsett, Frances Francis the First of France, Unsophisticate, Snottelling, Cereskia, Wineclaw, PotatoFarmers, Malta Comino Gozo, Outer Shenendoah, Kurniastan, Nuevo Navarre, Cokoland, South Baba, Krywyy Rig, Shadowrik, The Rhein States, Amprak, Valentine Z, North Bratislava, Chips and Guac, Glanst, Shizzy, Elvoreto, New Jamgra, Pigeonstan, Dangine, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Brucklania, Magna Banitia, The Kingdom Of Wagies, Democratic Republic of Kohland, Navsland, Innocentic, Minuda, Rozarus, Frahnkzaden, Hardscrabble, Picairn, Anungu, Ofira, Nationeer, and Highton Islands.

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