by Max Barry

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The Los'onyy Imperiya of Lotion Empire

“Prevyshe vsego! Smert' tem, kto protivostoit nam!” Los'on Vasya Privykia IV

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific


Lotion Empire

Population5.324 billion

LeaderLos'on Vasya Privykia IV
FaithSecular State

AnimalGolden Eagle

The Los'onyy Imperiya of Lotion Empire is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Los'on Vasya Privykia IV with an iron fist, and notable for its otherworldly petting zoo, prohibition of alcohol, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.324 billion Lotionese are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The enormous, corrupt government is effectively ruled by the Department of Defense, with Industry and Law & Order also on the agenda, while International Aid and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Los'ongrad. The average income tax rate is 98.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Lotionese economy, worth a remarkable 1,331 trillion Ludons a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. Average income is an amazing 250,032 Ludons, with the richest citizens earning 9.3 times as much as the poorest.

The carbon footprint falls along with the human footprint during war, the country has been 'going shopping' by annexing nearby nations for their resources, the military refers to helpless combatants offering surrender as "sitting ducks", and Lotion Empire is increasingly belligerent on the international stage. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Lotion Empire's national animal is the Golden Eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Secular State.

Lotion Empire is ranked 138,484th in the world and 6,851st in The North Pacific for Most Armed, with 0.22 Weapons Per Person.

Most Advanced Defense Forces: 26thMost Subsidized Industry: 176thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 334thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 362ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 367thMost Corrupt Governments: 831stLargest Black Market: 1,089thLargest Mining Sector: 1,506thMost Primitive: 1,670thMost Influential: 1,751stTop
Most Efficient Economies: 1,917thRudest Citizens: 2,120thHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,176thMost Avoided: 2,430thLargest Governments: 2,770thHighest Average Incomes: 3,280thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,170thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,580thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,832ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,883rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 6,292ndLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6,575thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,661stLowest Crime Rates: 8,708thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,729thTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 8,912thHighest Economic Output: 11,491stLargest Welfare Programs: 14,880thHighest Poor Incomes: 16,597thMost Devout: 17,589thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 17,700th
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 3rd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 7th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 19th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 38th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 40th in the regionLargest Black Market: 42nd in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 56th in the regionMost Primitive: 58th in the regionMost Avoided: 79th in the regionTop
Highest Average Tax Rates: 106th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 107th in the regionLargest Governments: 129th in the regionRudest Citizens: 129th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 159th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 159th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 163rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 169th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 175th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 273rd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 298th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 358th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 368th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 370th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 382nd in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 440th in the regionTop
Most Ignorant Citizens: 493rd in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 522nd in the regionMost Influential: 603rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 654th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 844th in the regionMost Devout: 874th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 892nd in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 271 » Territorio di Nessuno, McMasterdonia, Xagill, Alunya, Runeda, Dar es Saalam, Sunto, Corfad, 5 kingdoms of Britannia, Sundred, Advancia-Sizzletown, Shibutani, Notyoutopia, Orado, The Rhein States, 2 and 2 is Fish, Fendlium, Miruma, Pazair, Loutsland, Trillius, Great Bights Mum, Viridiann, Guer Aike, Glurponia, Koda-Land, Steampunk Ariel, Eravonia, Dreadton, North Bratislava, Frances Francis the First of France, Amauri, Newpromisedland, Abject Ludicrosity, Sockmanland, Ravendi, New Bremerton, Zumlandia, Dabarastan, United Kahndaq, New Atlantico, Selfgradatude, Kasazzastan, Daiz, Holy Oranz, Abiswashyo-bhumi, Seenvorland, Yaorozu, Omnistria, Eri-Maqa-Ena, and 221 others.Siwale, The Tampa Bay Rays, Zyvetskistaahn, Vincone Cae, Destructive Government Endorsing System, New Octicarg, PlanetPunk, Interdimensional Zone, United Anglo-America, 1 very fast endotarter, Ereena, Kranostav, Wineclaw, Zecit, Xentherida, Sil Dorsett, Bearical, Ponantine, Ethnon, Empy, Republic of Amal, New Trisone, Western Vapia, Black Templares, Valhalla123, Shadowrik, Drutopia Insomnia, Aratani, Castle Federation, Wodan, Vloetia, Rwekazaland, Partax, El Fiji Grande, Terban Kedah, Fizban, The Navy Blue, Anungu, Palgo, Pallaith, Gnomewatchers, Baldova, The Iron Lions, U S Eh, Aenglaland, Misthas, General COE, Mazeoftime, OuterGalactic Banking Clan, Valshire, Valentine Z, Praeceps, Infinitis, Kwaj, Umuyyad, Babacar, Malta Comino Gozo, Volstokn, Serendipita Martia, Angshire, The Windmilluminati, Cobleck Weleis, Arlens Apartment, Revolutionary Sealand, Lungha, Miamington, Loli County, Lazadonil, Francois Isidore, Jasminlandia, Imperial Joseon, Avemterra, Napnomadia, Tachycardia, Navigator Islands, Makersaulache, Arimbia, Azzarel, Aetulia, Chukstik Illahi, Angwayster, Aezus, Alice Gardens, Brandenburg-Ansbach, Binholand, Altivia, Clan Spaniel, Asgardira, Adehgord, Centromuria, Cape Flower, Cloydicia, Banabistan, Aroa, Ceansint, Atlentiania, Cobrallstain, Alamei, Central Ryal, British Pacific Islands, Bublin, Blackphir, Antiyard, Cinnibar, Altmeros, Aeurithianar, Wolfanomia, Kulgatha, Aeolist, Antef, Choistan, Aque Weandy, Bonjoura, Texas States, God Leon, AJTON, Austral States of America, Hamerica, Calamazo, Tydeni, Fayyayid, Ausveria, Free Culture, PotatoFarmers, Merconitonitopia, Changjo, Asintion, JesseltonTM, BrightFutures, Solmetria, Valatic Ash, Sairseal, Wilkshire, Freyford, Moubarakistan, Antineum, Porlock, Kelvaros Prime, Beta Cyndriel, Vernest Quill, Noahs Second Country, Mitosisopolis, Yokciq Empire, Vivanco, Dakota Territories, Universal State Formula, Pheonisland, Eraver, Woodsend, Hyphen, The New Communist Republic Of States, New Biryukova, Haminkwarea, Tedonia, Wit Noreis, Outer Bay, Liberate World Order, Prigert, Esylara, Koala Park, Khoik, The Stratosphere Islands, MiaryBhalzhack, The Jerichowan Country, ChristianVille of the USA, The Endless Eventide, New Jamgra, The Austro Germanic Union, Melkmeid, Mandexia, Lendara, Eurasian Foederatio, Stone Ira, Minuda, Votak Matim, Godwanna, Joodey, Psychotic Vegans, KhalChicken, New Lakemba, Bojacks and Jills, The World Capitalist Confederation, Bala Mantre, Yohannes, Spades Atlantic, Jellies Island, Banana Rat, Marrinia, Government of Nevada, Olofin, Ihese, SherpDaWerp in TNP, 9003, The Lancerian Empire, Reyalda, Staku, Bhigham, Dorito Dust, Diodone, Crader, Lybirit, Underium, Land of the Cross, Plangainer, Infantivore, The Galactic Triumvirate, AAA Provisional Empire, Abonland, Harrys, Manticore utopia, SORT, Lemonbiscuits, Morover, Yukti, Socialist State of LAY, Nisastria, Novanoke, Avastate, Orven, Nistriabar, and Karson.

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