The United States of Luntern is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Lampman Harry with an iron fist, and renowned for its feral children, complete lack of prisons, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 15.723 billion Lunternians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Administration, with Industry, Education, and Law & Order also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Lighthouse 12. The average income tax rate is 92.1%.

The frighteningly efficient Lunternian economy, worth a remarkable 3,482 trillion dollars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, quite specialized black market in Retail, Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Basket Weaving. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 221,460 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.1 times as much as the poorest.

Immigrants who carry knives on them are presumed to be chefs, ship captains always order a return to port at the slightest sign of rain, a baby's first breath is also a baby's first felony, and the government only announces the deaths of its members when it's convenient. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Luntern's national animal is the dolphin, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Fire.

Luntern is ranked 106,391^st in the world and 163^rd in The Union of Democratic States for Lowest Crime Rates, with 65.12 law-abiding acts per hour.