by Max Barry

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Spotlight on:

National Flag

The Kingdom of Malopolanie

“Live and let die”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Balder



Population9.176 billion


The Kingdom of Malopolanie is a colossal, environmentally stunning nation, notable for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 9.176 billion Malopolanieans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Law & Order. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 7.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Malopolaniean economy, worth a remarkable 2,649 trillion Krakuses a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Retail, and Arms Manufacturing. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 288,775 Krakuses, with the richest citizens earning 9.1 times as much as the poorest.

The volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose, incidents involving lethal string attacks have gone way up, rumor has it that Leader has won three lotteries in a row, and the subway is dead quiet in early afternoons. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malopolanie's national animal is the dragon, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Malopolanie is ranked 11,718th in the world and 364th in Balder for Lowest Overall Tax Burden, scoring 120.23 on the Hayek Index.

Rudest Citizens: 847thHighest Disposable Incomes: 872ndLargest Retail Industry: 967thMost Efficient Economies: 1,607thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,747thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,800thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,836thMost Secular: 1,937thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,163rdTop
Highest Average Incomes: 2,225thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2,541stHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,860thLargest Insurance Industry: 2,936thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,966thLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,046thLargest Black Market: 4,756thSmartest Citizens: 4,821stLargest Publishing Industry: 4,919thHighest Economic Output: 5,220thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 5,719thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,313thMost Rebellious Youth: 6,430thLargest Governments: 7,080thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 7,357thMost Subsidized Industry: 7,472ndLowest Crime Rates: 8,927thMost Cultured: 10,476thFattest Citizens: 10,996thTop
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,678thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 11,718thMost Developed: 11,837thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 14,233rdHighest Poor Incomes: 14,683rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 15,798thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 17,745thMost Advanced Public Education: 18,101stMost Beautiful Environments: 18,366thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 21,912th
Rudest Citizens: 31st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 37th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 38th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 47th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 57th in the regionMost Secular: 63rd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 66th in the regionTop
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 84th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 89th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 100th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 101st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 110th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 121st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 144th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 165th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 181st in the regionSmartest Citizens: 185th in the regionLargest Black Market: 220th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 222nd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 291st in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 302nd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 324th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 340th in the regionLargest Governments: 362nd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 364th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 376th in the regionTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 487th in the regionFattest Citizens: 489th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 551st in the regionMost Cultured: 561st in the regionMost Developed: 595th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 638th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 701st in the regionMost Influential: 754th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 765th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Malopolanie, the subway is dead quiet in early afternoons.
  • : Following new legislation in Malopolanie, rumor has it that Leader has won three lotteries in a row.
  • : Following new legislation in Malopolanie, incidents involving lethal string attacks have gone way up.
  • : Malopolanie was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Fattest Citizens and the Top 10% for Highest Poor Incomes and Largest Basket Weaving Sector.
  • : Following new legislation in Malopolanie, the volume of paperwork used to complete a single environmental assessment defeats the purpose.
  • : Following new legislation in Malopolanie, worried-looking neonatal nurses are being deployed in place of SWAT teams during dangerous drug busts.
  • : Following new legislation in Malopolanie, shady doctors seem to have impeccable records.
  • : Following new legislation in Malopolanie, teddy bear James Dean (aka "the Rebel Without the Claws") helps convince kids that candy cigarettes are cool.
  • : Malopolanie was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Corrupt Governments.
  • : Following new legislation in Malopolanie, wounded veterans can only get prosthetics if they agree to become walking billboards for the arms industry.


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