The Kingdom of Malta Comino Gozo is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Robert Abela with a fair hand, and renowned for its complete lack of prisons, free-roaming dinosaurs, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, hard-working, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 17.56 billion Malta Comino Gozoans hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The large government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Valletta. The average income tax rate is 99.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Malta Comino Gozoan economy, worth a remarkable 4,531 trillion Florins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 258,049 Florins, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

In musicals everybody's a little bit racist, more sidewalk is dedicated to animals than people, descriptions of properties as "a stone's throw from the city centre" require a trebuchet to be true, and frequent broken zippers have resulted in safety pins making a fashion comeback. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Malta Comino Gozo's national animal is the Sloth Bear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Christianity.

Malta Comino Gozo is ranked 53,983^rd in the world and 966^th in The North Pacific for Most Patriotic, with 29.97 flags saluted per person per day.