The Civilisation Game of Mastodonia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Shepard Blaine with a fair hand, and notable for its anti-smoking policies, irreverence towards religion, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 13.824 billion Mastodonians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, socially-minded government prioritizes Education, although Administration, Environment, and Healthcare are also considered important, while Defense and Spirituality are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The City. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Mastodonian economy, worth a remarkable 3,129 trillion Postagestamps a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 226,351 Postagestamps, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The nation's navy has been named the scourge of the seven thousand seas, relations with Dàguó have warmed from frosty to chilly, giggling elementary school newspaper reporters want to know why Shepard Blaine is a silly poophead, and urbanites are banned from bucolic settings for safety concerns. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mastodonia's national animal is the mastodon, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Project Pope.

Mastodonia is ranked 1,216^th in the world and 22^nd in 10000 Islands for Largest Governments, scoring 62.27 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.