by Max Barry

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The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia

“All Rivers run into the Sea, yet the Sea is not Full”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Merconitonitopia

Population14.261 billion

CapitalBahmedag
LeaderMontebad II

Currencyvirtue
Animaldove

The Kingdom of Merconitonitopia is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Montebad II with an iron fist, and notable for its avant-garde cinema, ubiquitous missile silos, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 14.261 billion Merconites are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized morass — is primarily concerned with Defense, although Environment, Spirituality, and Industry are also considered important. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bahmedag. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Merconite economy, worth a remarkable 5,934 trillion virtues a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, highly specialized black market in Arms Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. State-owned companies are the norm. Average income is an amazing 416,125 virtues, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out, Montebad II's recent "I have a dream that we will fight them by raking muck on the beaches" speech seems a little derivative to many, the teaching of evolution has been banned, and betting pennies on games of Go Fish is considered deviant. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Merconitonitopia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Merconitonitopia is ranked 176,812th in the world and 8,805th in The North Pacific for Highest Unexpected Death Rate, scoring 16.24 on the Bus Surprisal Index.

Top
1%
Most Eco-Friendly Governments: 11thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 13thMost Primitive: 14thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 23rdMost Devout: 24thMost Ignorant Citizens: 24thBest Weather: 47thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 58thMost Subsidized Industry: 68thMost Beautiful Environments: 117thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 119thHighest Poor Incomes: 125thLargest Black Market: 136thMost Corrupt Governments: 136thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 214thHighest Average Tax Rates: 225thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 288thLargest Governments: 306thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 388thMost Valuable International Artwork: 500thMost Advanced Public Transport: 507thHighest Average Incomes: 578thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 676thLongest Average Lifespans: 834thHighest Economic Output: 1,202ndMost Influential: 1,220thMost Armed: 1,358thMost Efficient Economies: 1,478thTop
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 1,831stMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,946thMost Cultured: 2,327thHealthiest Citizens: 3,306thNudest: 4,464thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,789thMost Authoritarian: 8,808thTop
10%
Largest Welfare Programs: 9,988thMost Advanced Public Education: 11,908thLargest Populations: 13,435thMost Income Equality: 15,195th
Top
1%
Largest Black Market: 1st in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionMost Devout: 1st in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 1st in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 2nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 4th in the regionBest Weather: 5th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 5th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 8th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 9th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 10th in the regionLargest Governments: 12th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 14th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 17th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 19th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 28th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 33rd in the regionMost Armed: 46th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 46th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 69th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 71st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 74th in the regionTop
5%
Lowest Crime Rates: 97th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 106th in the regionMost Cultured: 109th in the regionNudest: 159th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 189th in the regionLargest Populations: 247th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 302nd in the regionTop
10%
Largest Welfare Programs: 451st in the regionMost Influential: 455th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 537th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 588th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 823rd in the regionMost Income Equality: 835th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 438 » Alunya, Guer Aike, Yaorozu, The Rhein States, Runeda, Territorio di Nessuno, Black Templares, Corfad, Koda-Land, Ponantine, Wodan, Dreadton, Dar es Saalam, Viridiann, Sil Dorsett, North Bratislava, Valhalla123, Sockmanland, Castle Federation, Notyoutopia, Zyvetskistaahn, Shibutani, Manticore utopia, Baldova, Zokk, East Supple Lund, Ausveria, Walter Jackson, Partax, Arimbia, Chukstik Illahi, Zumlandia, Newpromisedland, Aetulia, Siwale, Kubrostavsria, The Tampa Bay Rays, Loutsland, Wilkshire, Seenvorland, The Discipled, Glurponia, Karazan, Eravonia, Pazair, Azzarel, Aratani, McMasterdonia, Bonjoura, Vincone Cae, and 388 others.El Fiji Grande, Miruma, Sundred, Ravendi, United States of Americanas, Dabarastan, Advancia-Sizzletown, Anungu, Aeurithianar, Ethnon, 5 kingdoms of Britannia, Sunto, Antiyard, Altmeros, Tachycardia, United Anglo-America, Amauri, Jasminlandia, Aenglaland, Interdimensional Zone, Abiswashyo-bhumi, Kranostav, New Bremerton, Pallaith, Empy, Venezuelia, Ataraxia Somnia, Abject Ludicrosity, Aeolist, Landsa, Altivia, Daiz, Holy Oranz, Asgardira, Frances Francis the First of France, Wineclaw, Orado, Alice Gardens, 1 very fast endotarter, Aezus, Selfgradatude, Great Bights Mum, Palgo, Esplandia, Lotion Empire, The Iron Lions, Yukti, The Navy Blue, Democratic Peoples Republic of the US, Necromonia, Gnomewatchers, The Windmilluminati, Tianqing, Vexilia, Choistan, U S Eh, Erwo Stal, Steampunk Ariel, Calamazo, Misthas, Gurou, Eri-Maqa-Ena, General COE, Serendipita Martia, Umuyyad, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Mazeoftime, Valshire, Zacisnia, OuterGalactic Banking Clan, Valentine Z, Praeceps, Fendlium, Terban Kedah, Soviet Terran, Angshire, Volstokn, Dadastan Archipelago, Shadowrik, Cobleck Weleis, Lungha, Francois Isidore, New Flos, Avemterra, Napnomadia, Loli County, Antineum, Imperial Joseon, Keventle, Navigator Islands, Kasazzastan, 2 and 2 is Fish, God Leon, Hamerica, United Kahndaq, Fayyayid, Free Culture, PotatoFarmers, Gilakistan, Jovian Knights, Eraver, The Kingdom and Realm of Anubis, The Lucky but Unfortunate Wanderers, Tervel, Olofin, Banabistan, The Gamer Party, SORT, Slacker Ville, Fel Imass, Rhelmwych, New Octicarg, The Reorganized Arctic Territories, Central Ryal, Novou, Unsophisticate, Miamington, Alamei, Heminaw, Kuveria, Fascist Democracy, North Novkia, Solmetria, The Greater Influence of Holdenshire, Pleroma Sans Romans, Greater Maharlikans, Nordic-British Union, Clan Spaniel, Children of the Anarch, Cape Flower, Khoik, Freyford, Contani, Conservative State of Poland, Trolling, Sahil Shintre, The Sinclarian Provinces, Sunaiya, Zecit, Itallitopia, Montarc, Minuda, Panama Coalition, Sacrento, Ereena, Greater Chimeran Union, Northern Glory, Lucedeia, Danejun, Republic of Amal, Scouria, New Lakemba, Babacar, Fupiju, Warsaw-Halicz, Greater Ars Britannia, Centromuria, Binholand, Nooristan, Dopeland420, Nova Arcania, Singamadri, Fredericksborg, Cloydicia, Ihese, Irishvan, Malta 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