by Max Barry

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The United States of Midlands

“Don't just do something - stand there”

Category: Anarchy
Civil Rights:
World Benchmark
Political Freedoms:
Widely Abused

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Capitalist Paradise

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendNuke ControlCards


Population38.851 billion


Currencysand dollar

The United States of Midlands is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, rampant corporate plagiarism, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 38.851 billion Midlandsians live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

The minute, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Industry, with Defense, Law & Order, and Education also on the agenda, while Environment and Social Policy aren't funded at all. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Midlandsian economy, worth an astonishing 28,753 trillion sand dollars a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Automobile Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Retail, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Average income is a breathtaking 740,108 sand dollars, but there is an enormous disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 3,910,998 per year while the poor average 74,379, a ratio of 52.6 to 1.

Children as young as eight can present logical proofs for the existence of the afterlife, parents must decide between buying food and taking their children to the park, everybody's got wood thanks to Leader, and it's always rabbit season. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown. Midlands's national animal is the bear, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Midlands is ranked 19,432nd in the world and 51st in Capitalist Paradise for Highest Poor Incomes, with 74,379.03 Standard Monetary Units.

Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 3rdMost Efficient Economies: 6thRudest Citizens: 9thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9thMost Avoided: 13thLargest Populations: 13thLargest Retail Industry: 15thFattest Citizens: 22ndHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 23rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 26thHighest Disposable Incomes: 29thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 30thHighest Economic Output: 30thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 33rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 55thHighest Average Incomes: 58thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 71stLargest Mining Sector: 74thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 76thMost Valuable International Artwork: 83rdHighest Wealthy Incomes: 87thLargest Publishing Industry: 101stLargest Soda Pop Sector: 140thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 143rdLargest Gambling Industry: 150thSmartest Citizens: 216thMost Scientifically Advanced: 220thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 240thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 292ndMost Subsidized Industry: 836thLargest Governments: 1,219thLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,703rdMost Corrupt Governments: 1,939thTop
Largest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,275thSafest: 5,756thLargest Black Market: 7,397thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 8,829thLargest Insurance Industry: 9,393rdLowest Crime Rates: 10,044thMost Armed: 11,018thTop
Highest Drug Use: 14,795thMost Politically Free: 14,902ndMost Stationary: 15,272ndMost Pro-Market: 16,799thMost Influential: 17,454thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 18,091stGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 19,259thHighest Poor Incomes: 19,432ndMost World Assembly Endorsements: 20,492ndMost Extreme: 21,124thMost Extensive Civil Rights: 22,086th
Largest Publishing Industry: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionMost Politically Free: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 2nd in the regionLargest Populations: 2nd in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 2nd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 2nd in the regionRudest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 2nd in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Avoided: 3rd in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3rd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3rd in the regionFattest Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Extreme: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 3rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 3rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 3rd in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 3rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 3rd in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3rd in the regionTop
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 4th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4th in the regionLargest Governments: 6th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 11th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 11th in the regionSafest: 13th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 13th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16th in the regionTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 21st in the regionLargest Black Market: 22nd in the regionMost Extensive Civil Rights: 27th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 27th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 31st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, it's always rabbit season.
  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, everybody's got wood thanks to Leader.
  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, parents must decide between buying food and taking their children to the park.
  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, children as young as eight can present logical proofs for the existence of the afterlife.
  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, pandemics are over and done with by the time it takes to pass the nation's stringent border security.
  • : Midlands was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Civil Rights.
  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, white strait-jackets are the new orange jumpsuits.
  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, people think garlic bread counts as one of their "five a day".
  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, birth rates have hit an all-time low.
  • : Following new legislation in Midlands, the aphorism "there's no need to argue" has been dismissed by Midlandsians.


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