by Max Barry

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The Nine in the Afternoon of Miss Bad Life Choices

“Put the lesbian birdhouse in the tree already goddangit”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Rare
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: The Black Hawks

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Miss Bad Life Choices

Population5.654 billion

CapitalAzaelai
LeaderDakota Vytherov
FaithLynxism

Currencygold coin
Animalspace dolphin

The Nine in the Afternoon of Miss Bad Life Choices is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Dakota Vytherov with an iron fist, and notable for its compulsory military service, pith helmet sales, and compulsory gun ownership. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 5.654 billion Daks are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Industry also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Azaelai. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 70.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Dakian economy, worth 844 trillion gold coins a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, and Furniture Restoration. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 149,358 gold coins, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 448,074 per year while the poor average 38,887, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

The law is more interested in punishing crime than preventing it, the nation's water should not be ingested while operating heavy machinery, psychiatrists that date patients are congratulated on their romantic conquests, and the nation's best artists are considered pretty easy to beat. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Miss Bad Life Choices's national animal is the space dolphin, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Lynxism.

Miss Bad Life Choices is ranked 45,027th in the world and 59th in The Black Hawks for Most Influential, scoring 554 on the Soft Power Disbursement Rating.

Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 43rdTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 2,452ndMost Devout: 3,744thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4,292ndMost Armed: 5,421stLargest Black Market: 6,427thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 7,134thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 7,634thLargest Mining Sector: 8,531stMost Corrupt Governments: 9,023rdMost Efficient Economies: 10,846thTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,200thMost Subsidized Industry: 11,938thHighest Average Incomes: 13,677thLowest Crime Rates: 14,280thMost Developed: 15,050thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 17,633rdLargest Governments: 18,223rdLargest Manufacturing Sector: 18,821stHighest Economic Output: 20,321stMost Advanced Public Education: 20,985th
Top
1%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionTop
5%
Largest Furniture Restoration Industry: 6th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 13th in the regionMost Devout: 22nd in the regionTop
10%
Most Armed: 23rd in the regionMost Developed: 25th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 30th in the regionLargest Black Market: 31st in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 33rd in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 38th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 42nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 43rd in the region

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