The Knighted Guardians of Mlokisan Army is a massive, genial nation, ruled by Kleven Gortus with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, otherworldly petting zoo, and irreverence towards religion. The cynical population of 3.538 billion Mlocikians are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Court of Malia. The average income tax rate is 23.9%, but much higher for the wealthy.

The strong Mlokisan Armyian economy, worth 233 trillion Sniveras a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 65,980 Sniveras, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Shelters struggle to keep up with the endless intake of stray animals, the government is pouring money into 'Operation Enduring Democracy', mechanics are often exhausted by their work, and the needs of the living outweigh the needs of the dead. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Mlokisan Army's national animal is the Horse, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Mlatonicism.

Mlokisan Army is ranked 117,931^st in the world and 50^th in Palatine for Safest, scoring 77.94 on the Bubble-Rapp Safety Rating.