The Armed Republic of Muffinses is a massive, safe nation, ruled by Lord Muffino with an iron fist, and renowned for its pith helmet sales, frequent executions, and public floggings. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 1.903 billion Muffinsesians are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Muffiscaland. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 82.4%.

The frighteningly efficient Muffinsesian economy, worth 241 trillion Muffinoses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Trout Farming, and Information Technology. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 126,655 Muffinoses, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 379,399 per year while the poor average 33,046, a ratio of 11.5 to 1.

Children asked by parents to 'guess how much I love you' ask for the cash value, family isn't who you're born with but who you abandon in foreign countries, criminal convictions are routinely thrown out because the accused's grandmother didn't get to testify about their good character, and endangered bison are herded across the border to prevent them from trampling on native prairie grass. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Muffinses's national animal is the Muffin, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Muffinism.

Muffinses is ranked 223,775^th in the world and 3,628^th in the South Pacific for Most Secular, with 14.95 Atheism Rate.