by Max Barry

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The Grand Duchy of Mustanoki

“Dico, Dico, Dico”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Unheard Of
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: the Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Mustanoki

Population9.579 billion

Currencymark
Animalcider-swilling meerkat

The Grand Duchy of Mustanoki is a colossal, orderly nation, remarkable for its deadly medical pandemics, frequent executions, and avant-garde cinema. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.579 billion Mustanokians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded, well-organized government stops and the rest of society begins, but it prioritizes Spirituality, although Administration, Environment, and Law & Order are also considered important, while Social Policy and Education aren't funded at all. The average income tax rate is 93.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Mustanokian economy, worth a remarkable 1,359 trillion marks a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector is solely comprised of the Basket Weaving industry. Average income is an impressive 141,967 marks, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.5 times as much as the poorest.

Hundreds of teenagers die every year at the Mustanokian Hungry Games, the new intercity submarine SSN Cider-swilling Meerkat Warrior instills terror in claustrophobic travellers, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia, and witches' brews set off Geiger counters. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force. Mustanoki's national animal is the cider-swilling meerkat, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Mustanoki is ranked 20,114th in the world and 215th in the Pacific for Most Stationary, with 1,615.56877853532 days.

Top
1%
Most Primitive: 48thMost Ignorant Citizens: 103rdMost Devout: 127thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 556thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,113thMost Cultured: 1,509thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 1,600thFattest Citizens: 1,753rdLargest Welfare Programs: 2,057thLargest Black Market: 2,810thTop
5%
Most Subsidized Industry: 3,402ndMost Beautiful Environments: 4,432ndMost Corrupt Governments: 6,218thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 6,370thHighest Average Tax Rates: 7,177thMost Authoritarian: 7,297thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 9,808thMost Advanced Public Transport: 10,243rdBest Weather: 11,871stTop
10%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 15,792ndMost Conservative: 17,942ndLargest Governments: 18,943rdMost Stationary: 20,114thHighest Economic Output: 20,200thMost Efficient Economies: 20,558thHighest Poor Incomes: 22,309thHighest Average Incomes: 25,410thMost Influential: 26,700thMost Patriotic: 27,375thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 27,761st
Top
1%
Most Primitive: 2nd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionMost Devout: 5th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 13th in the regionFattest Citizens: 20th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 29th in the regionMost Cultured: 31st in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 38th in the regionLargest Black Market: 41st in the regionTop
5%
Most Subsidized Industry: 55th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 79th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 92nd in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 113th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 127th in the regionMost Authoritarian: 165th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 171st in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 198th in the regionMost Stationary: 215th in the regionTop
10%
Best Weather: 249th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 260th in the regionMost Extreme: 267th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 319th in the regionLargest Populations: 323rd in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 325th in the regionLargest Governments: 348th in the regionMost Patriotic: 351st in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 373rd in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 393rd in the regionMost Conservative: 397th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 415th in the regionMost Influential: 420th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, witches' brews set off Geiger counters.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, children who believe in the tooth fairy are frequently shipped off to Bigtopia.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, the new intercity submarine SSN Cider-swilling Meerkat Warrior instills terror in claustrophobic travellers.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, hundreds of teenagers die every year at the Mustanokian Hungry Games.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, administrative districts are increasingly defined by their taste in housing architecture.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, cider-swilling meerkats are frequently shot for looking at people 'in a funny way'.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, heavily stoned police officers are unsure whether the recent directive to 'clean up the streets' means arresting drug dealers or hosing down the sidewalk.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, claims adjusters are uselessly vague.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, government bureaucrats review designs for birdhouses to ensure they do not block the views of neighbors.
  • : Following new legislation in Mustanoki, teen parties are often ruined by wet blanket chaperones.

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