The Holy Empire of Neurotic Pandas is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by the Holy and Great Leader with an even hand, and renowned for its smutty television, punitive income tax rates, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, humorless, devout population of 30.312 billion Neurotic Pandasians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The enormous, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Sicarus. The average income tax rate is 98.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Neurotic Pandasian economy, worth a remarkable 5,990 trillion Struthiomimuses a year, is quite specialized and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 197,618 Struthiomimuses, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The environment is gorgeous so long as you're looking up, the 'three Rs' have become the 'four Rs' with the addition of Rightful Thought, only 'organics' are permitted to be citizens, and soldiers' positions are given away by the glint of their bayonets. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Neurotic Pandas's national animal is the Kraken, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans, and its national religion is Chaos worship.

Neurotic Pandas is ranked 144,456^th in the world and 5^th in Axis of Absurdity for Most Authoritarian, with 732.22 milliStalins.