The Rustling Leaves of New Kvenland is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by People's Commissary Tova Olthuis with a fair hand, and remarkable for its smutty television, daily referendums, and restrictive gun laws. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 18.849 billion New Kvenlanders are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Environment, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Brödstad. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient New Kvenlander economy, worth a remarkable 3,409 trillion labor vouchers a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. Average income is an impressive 180,906 labor vouchers, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

It's a comma comma comma comma comma rebellion, only lightning has a chance of striking People's Commissary Tova Olthuis twice, judicial torture is outsourced overseas, and increasing inclusiveness is a sign of the times. Crime is totally unknown. New Kvenland's national animal is the caribou, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Sarkicism.

New Kvenland is ranked 4,464^th in the world and 258^th in Lazarus for Lowest Crime Rates, with 119.28 law-abiding acts per hour.