by Max Barry

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The Unified States of New Palimpsest

“If you can read this, you will be punished!”

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Hatchling

Location: The North Pacific

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

New Palimpsest

Population8.16 billion

CapitalPornography City
LeaderJ Nathaniel Gotha
FaithCranberrianism

CurrencyPalimpsest Florgon
Animalbunny viper

The Unified States of New Palimpsest is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by J Nathaniel Gotha with an iron fist, and remarkable for its enslaved workforce, parental licensing program, and compulsory military service. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 8.16 billion New Palimpsestians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Spirituality, and Industry also on the agenda, while Environment and Education are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pornography City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 33.9%.

The frighteningly efficient New Palimpsestian economy, worth a remarkable 1,925 trillion Palimpsest Florgons a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched black market in Uranium Mining, Retail, Arms Manufacturing, and Woodchip Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 235,927 Palimpsest Florgons, with the richest citizens earning 7.8 times as much as the poorest.

Aides are afraid to ask if J Nathaniel Gotha wants a cup of tea or coffee, the native owl population is in permanent hibernation, New Palimpsest is increasingly belligerent on the international stage, and charity no longer begins at home. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force. New Palimpsest's national animal is the bunny viper, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Cranberrianism.

New Palimpsest is ranked 4,174th in the world and 165th in The North Pacific for Nudest, with 1,200.5 Cheeks Per Square Mile.

Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 74thMost Primitive: 88thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 173rdMost Devout: 194thLargest Mining Sector: 200thLargest Retail Industry: 455thMost Avoided: 462ndMost Corrupt Governments: 568thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 582ndFattest Citizens: 1,114thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,128thMost Conservative: 1,186thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,373rdMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,687thLargest Black Market: 1,805thTop
5%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 2,762ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 3,331stHighest Average Incomes: 3,982ndNudest: 4,174thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 4,262ndHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,595thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,811thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 6,012thMost Efficient Economies: 6,049thMost Authoritarian: 7,711thHighest Economic Output: 7,954thLowest Crime Rates: 10,509thTop
10%
Largest Governments: 13,863rdMost Subsidized Industry: 15,139thHighest Poor Incomes: 18,176th
Top
1%
Most Ignorant Citizens: 4th in the regionMost Primitive: 4th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 4th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 5th in the regionMost Avoided: 10th in the regionMost Devout: 13th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 24th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 24th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 25th in the regionFattest Citizens: 36th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 37th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 44th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 73rd in the regionLargest Black Market: 76th in the regionMost Conservative: 76th in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 98th in the regionTop
5%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 143rd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 158th in the regionNudest: 165th in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 169th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 184th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 208th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 241st in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 241st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 323rd in the regionMost Authoritarian: 444th in the regionTop
10%
Lowest Crime Rates: 522nd in the regionLargest Populations: 635th in the regionRudest Citizens: 657th in the regionLargest Governments: 676th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 725th in the regionMost Extreme: 783rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 993rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, charity no longer begins at home.
  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, New Palimpsest is increasingly belligerent on the international stage.
  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, the native owl population is in permanent hibernation.
  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, aides are afraid to ask if J Nathaniel Gotha wants a cup of tea or coffee.
  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, Harry Potter books are banned.
  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, wrongful arrests abound as 'criminals' blame the guy next to them.
  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, 100-year-old politicians are now a thing of the past.
  • : New Palimpsest was reclassified from "Iron Fist Consumerists" to "Psychotic Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, it is illegal to comfort a crying baby between the hours of 6 pm and 8 pm.
  • : Following new legislation in New Palimpsest, suppression of pro-democracy protests is a daily occurrence.

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