by Max Barry

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The PLEASE NUKE ME of Newark Aristocracy

“Now that that's over, PLEASE NUKE ME!”

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The East Pacific


Newark Aristocracy

Population1.985 billion

CapitalNewark City
LeaderKohan the 8th


The PLEASE NUKE ME of Newark Aristocracy is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Kohan the 8th with a fair hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, digital currency, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 1.985 billion Monarchians enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The medium-sized, corrupt, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Newark City. The average income tax rate is 81.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Newark Aristocracyian economy, worth 312 trillion dollars a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 157,307 dollars, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

The backs of 'No Trespassing' signs were made for you and me, history textbook pages are used as impromptu tissues by distraught students, the government is flooded with compensation requests, and the government seizes private property for the 'good of the people'. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Newark Aristocracy's national animal is the Button, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is DEATism.

Newark Aristocracy is ranked 10,129th in the world and 249th in The East Pacific for Largest Publishing Industry, scoring 10,786.35 on the Bella Potter Productivity e-Index.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 2,660thMost Inclusive: 2,935thMost Cheerful Citizens: 4,109thNicest Citizens: 4,217thMost Compassionate Citizens: 4,416thRudest Citizens: 4,493rdMost Influential: 5,190thMost Scientifically Advanced: 5,490thLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,949thMost Developed: 6,542ndMost Subsidized Industry: 7,430thLongest Average Lifespans: 7,807thMost Cultured: 7,911thLargest Welfare Programs: 8,009thLowest Crime Rates: 8,090thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 8,107thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,275thTop
Smartest Citizens: 8,608thLargest Governments: 9,790thLargest Publishing Industry: 10,129thHealthiest Citizens: 10,572ndMost Efficient Economies: 10,706thHighest Average Incomes: 11,078thMost Beautiful Environments: 11,973rdHighest Average Tax Rates: 11,988thMost Pacifist: 12,893rdNudest: 14,213thBest Weather: 14,600thMost Advanced Public Education: 14,758thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 15,015thMost Secular: 15,173rdMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 15,871stLargest Retail Industry: 16,334th
Most Inclusive: 99th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 101st in the regionRudest Citizens: 117th in the regionNicest Citizens: 137th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 145th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 147th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 158th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 170th in the regionMost Developed: 196th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 200th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 210th in the regionMost Cultured: 212th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 215th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 240th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 241st in the regionLargest Governments: 243rd in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 249th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 251st in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 257th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 262nd in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 269th in the regionNudest: 269th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 300th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 304th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 344th in the regionTop
Most Advanced Public Education: 393rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 400th in the regionMost Influential: 404th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 413th in the regionMost Pacifist: 415th in the regionBest Weather: 439th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 444th in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 444th in the regionMost Secular: 463rd in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 469th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 520th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 552nd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 558th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 599th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 651st in the region

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