The Theocracy of No Way Yahweh is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Bob Yahweh with an iron fist, and renowned for its compulsory vegetarianism, zero percent divorce rate, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-working, cynical population of 29.254 billion No Way Yahwehians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Spirituality, although Law & Order, Defense, and Education are also considered important. The average income tax rate is 66.7%.

The No Way Yahwehian economy, worth a remarkable 1,624 trillion golds a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a slick, highly efficient, quite specialized black market in Gambling, Woodchip Exports, Trout Farming, and Cheese Exports. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is 55,533 golds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Suppression of pro-democracy protests is a daily occurrence, eminent domain has been abolished, all news sources are under strict government control, and all weapon research has been banned. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. No Way Yahweh's national animal is the beast, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Monotheism.

No Way Yahweh is ranked 121,107^th in the world and 10^th in Heaven for Lowest Crime Rates, with 63.59 law-abiding acts per hour.