by Max Barry

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The Kingdom of Noire Denholm

“Evil is always possible. Goodness is a difficulty.”

Category: Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Noire Denholm

Population6.058 billion

CapitalGasselterboerveenschemond
LeaderThe All Powerful Monty Phugotuborn
FaithThe Dark Cult of Bothughachau

CurrencySkuls
AnimalGreat Mock Lynx

The Kingdom of Noire Denholm is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by The All Powerful Monty Phugotuborn with an even hand, and remarkable for its frequent executions, complete lack of prisons, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 6.058 billion Noire Denholmians are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The medium-sized, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Gasselterboerveenschemond. The average income tax rate is 92.1%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Noire Denholmian economy, worth a remarkable 1,126 trillion Skuls a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. Average income is an impressive 185,952 Skuls, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

The elderly live on a steady diet of canned beans in dreary government housing, excited shovel-bearing geeks wander the countryside, the government has adopted a "Lightning Never Strikes Twice" approach to dealing with natural disasters, and conspiracy theorists allege that the government is spying on them through their carbon monoxide detectors. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Noire Denholm's national animal is the Great Mock Lynx, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is The Dark Cult of Bothughachau.

Noire Denholm is ranked 205,046th in the world and 8,203rd in the South Pacific for Largest Mining Sector, scoring -23.49 on the Blue Sky Asbestos Index.

Top
1%
Most World Assembly Endorsements: 791stMost Influential: 1,088thBest Weather: 1,363rdMost Beautiful Environments: 1,892ndTop
5%
Most Popular Tourist Destinations: 2,201stMost Devout: 3,042ndHealthiest Citizens: 3,044thLongest Average Lifespans: 3,100thMost Inclusive: 3,584thMost Cultured: 3,866thMost Efficient Economies: 3,906thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 4,280thHighest Poor Incomes: 4,414thMost Scientifically Advanced: 4,445thMost Subsidized Industry: 4,618thMost Developed: 4,745thLowest Crime Rates: 4,792ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,193rdLargest Information Technology Sector: 5,528thLargest Governments: 5,565thSmartest Citizens: 6,234thHighest Average Tax Rates: 6,605thHighest Average Incomes: 7,681stMost Corrupt Governments: 7,947thMost Cheerful Citizens: 8,008thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,215thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 8,647thLargest Publishing Industry: 9,604thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 10,044thTop
10%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 11,598thMost Advanced Public Education: 11,945thHighest Economic Output: 14,765thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 14,890thMost Stationary: 16,338thHighest Drug Use: 16,791stLargest Welfare Programs: 19,690th
Top
1%
Best Weather: 51st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 59th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 65th in the regionMost Devout: 71st in the regionTop
5%
Longest Average Lifespans: 100th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 101st in the regionMost Influential: 109th in the regionMost Cultured: 114th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 114th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 123rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 125th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 138th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 142nd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 142nd in the regionLargest Governments: 144th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 145th in the regionMost Developed: 148th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 164th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 167th in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 180th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 182nd in the regionSmartest Citizens: 189th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 193rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 208th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 212th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 229th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 251st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 270th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 287th in the regionMost Stationary: 289th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 314th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 330th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 332nd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 341st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 360th in the regionTop
10%
Largest Populations: 450th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 565th in the regionNudest: 615th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 740th in the region

National Happenings

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 212 » Curlyhoward, Techganet, Drugged Monkeys, Luddinlande, Pencil Sharpeners 2, Tsunamy, FreeFishers, Qvait, Sandaoguo, Erinor, Farengeto, Kringalia, Darakin, Belschaft, Moreana, Nova Montron, Jehenna, Bod Wareenaland, Rebel-topia, Hanguk-Nippon, Tsvetania, Aidenfieeld, Native Inhabitants of Antarctica, Aywhyou, Ridehale, Escevola, Volaworand, Sedunn, Nankyoku Tairiku, Calistan, 073 039 109 032 080 111 112 112 121, The Solar System Scope, Fighting Kawi Ninja, The naked people, Oxsania, Saciu, PEPEP, New Briantown, Great Andora, Barabarom, Aumeltopia, Beepee, Silberne Wache, Vincent Field, Isokenzar, Cuuldere, Kandorith, Rabbitz, USNE2018, Xandev, and 162 others.Stoniamera, Land Without Shrimp, Wehraboos, The Filippinas, Dasko, Nowa Europa, Amutien, New Juan Carlos Land, Phanama, Amerion, PenguinPies, Aurcania, Jennaterra, Omiri, Fasire, Mapico, Imperial Duck, German Hapsburg, Empa Aserium, Noveos, The Tecorogan Federation, Direwolf1, Manniskoslaktet, Realms of Madness, Qawe, Bear Connors Paradiso, The Bereans, Astraee, Madreia, Tilipria, Abarri, Jaxon, Yeldarbsland, Lambdaland, Cohors Stercore, Crystal Creation, Nueva Alta California, Bleakfoot, Marstella, The United Expanse, New Marinia, North Delaware, Serendiva, Tiransia, Corgitopiaa, Isles of Creckero, Great Novania, Novaexus, Steampunk Engineers, Terran Draconia, Hutington, Bawkie, Tepertopia, Morlama Nast, Tarnik, North Kanuckistan, Holy Free, Soem, Iym Winterless, Gliasco, Ebonhand, Eskvenn, New Ancapland, West Pastafaria, InnWorm, Baltenlands, Anserisa, Gricanderis, Turks of The Eastern Calculus, CzechoSlovakishMoravia, Grubville, Charloa, Ralphburg, Sau Man Frescher, Esfalsa, Utondara, Historiography, Kaz Katiestan, Moonshining, Melicorium, The Worst army of, Quh, Kervanosia, Maerist, Meistonia, Elan Sleazebaganno, Jimburna, Sophiana, Eggraria, Phoenixesia, Merevane, Ngasha, Compli, Gonrati, Marinho Islands, Dis7Nation, Starsight, Markla, Shefino, Alaninia, Nouvel-Indre, Auphelia, Roleca, Oncarra, Laamiva, Peoples Republic of Columbus, Nova Kobol, NganXuan, RussiaSpetsnaz1, South Western Korea, Matak Tribes, ChickenDome, Freest Freedonia, Travislavania, Great Britain And Empire, Weburya, Great Elsika, Well F, Rhetiaa, The BBP, Purple Hyacinth, Aschenburg, Trepsit, The White Raj, The Drakan Republic, Odesseen, United States of Vietnam, Efferalt, Vega Naothia, Djalia, Briteannia, International House of Pancakes, Xarbraden, Ovkianos, New Heir, Mincestia, Avia Lavanda, Apelan, Radna Pasa, Amoxicillania, Nookington, Kyroski, Kedjens, Trinennie, Temaseka, East Lodge, Midand, Concrete Slab, NDG, The Plebeian States, White Bananistan, Westerlonia, Catillos, Official State of Landland, Distrotika, The SpaceNeo-Goryeo Etymological Society, B H A R A T, Myness, Alfama, Sword of Summer, Andinla, and Royaltica.

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