The Duchy of Nolgonia is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Duke of Bamburgh with an even hand, and remarkable for its lack of airports, ban on automobiles, and complete lack of prisons. The compassionate, democratic population of 10.843 billion Nolgans are fiercely patriotic and enjoy great social equality; they tend to view other, more capitalist countries as somewhat immoral and corrupt.

The enormous, socially-minded government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Edenbridge. The average income tax rate is 86.2%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Nolgonian economy, worth a remarkable 1,202 trillion Nolcoins a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Book Publishing, and Basket Weaving. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 110,918 Nolcoins, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Voting is voluntary, a little pushing and pulling is needed for big ships to pass, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters, and construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nolgonia's national animal is the Common fallow deer, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Ascesticism.

Nolgonia is ranked 24,517^th in the world and 195^th in 10000 Islands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 88.83 law-abiding acts per hour.