The Republic of Nordwald is a colossal, cultured nation, ruled by Bundeskanzler Lutz Ostwalder with a fair hand, and notable for its compulsory military service, irreverence towards religion, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 7.039 billion Nordwaldians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Welfare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Südwaldstadt. The average income tax rate is 99.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Nordwaldian economy, worth a remarkable 1,434 trillion Walders a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 203,726 Walders, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Rare steaks seem even bluer now, internet searches for the inventor of the three-wheeled steam-powered Nordwaldian weed picker are way up, male med students learning female anatomy do so with their eyes tightly closed, and parking's carefree without parking car fees. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nordwald's national animal is the Baummarder, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Nordwald is ranked 100,173^rd in the world and 1,718^th in The North Pacific for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring 2,540.02 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.