The Grand Kingdom of North-Bardonia is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by King Erich I Leftenson with an iron fist, and remarkable for its frequent executions, free-roaming dinosaurs, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 3.272 billion North-Bardonians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Education, Industry, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Carthiada. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.6%.

The frighteningly efficient North-Bardonian economy, worth 510 trillion Krown-Starlings a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Arms Manufacturing, Tourism, and Book Publishing. Black market activity is notable. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 156,081 Krown-Starlings, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 513,533 per year while the poor average 35,547, a ratio of 14.4 to 1.

Even the nation's brussel sprouts are delicious and nutritious, slow dancing is made trickier when Auntie Edna insists on standing between the couple's arms, musicians are often arrested for saying "oh my God", and returning tourists and businessmen are detained without trial if they belong to the "wrong" religion. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North-Bardonia's national animal is the Phoenix, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is The Old Faith.

North-Bardonia is ranked 164,408^th in the world and 66^th in Lands End for Most Advanced Public Transport, scoring 777.82 on the Societal Mobility Rating.