The Christian Republic of North Abandonia is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by President President with an even hand, and remarkable for its museums and concert halls, prohibition of alcohol, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, devout population of 6.363 billion Abandonians are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Administration, Education, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of New City. The average income tax rate is 97.9%.

The frighteningly efficient North Abandonian economy, worth 802 trillion shepherds a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Book Publishing and Tourism. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 126,166 shepherds, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Rugby players that knock each other over always stop to make sure the other fellow is okay, devout parents encourage their children to play on the street, it is considered unpatriotic to learn a foreign language, and if a tree falls in the forest and nobody is there to hear it... North Abandonian satellites can detect it. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. North Abandonia's national animal is the dove, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Reformed Christianity.

North Abandonia is ranked 5,279^th in the world and 8^th in Christians for Largest Governments, scoring 42.61 on the Bureaucratic Comprehensiveness Rating Scale Index.