by Max Barry

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National Flag

The Hushed Shade of Northern Wood

“Isn't it good Norwegian Wood?”

Category: Liberal Democratic Socialists
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: Forest

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Northern Wood

Population5.077 billion

CapitalRadagast's Rest
LeaderBull Moose of the Wood
FaithPastoral Pan Worship

Currencyamber thorn
AnimalNorthern Moose

The Hushed Shade of Northern Wood is a colossal, efficient nation, ruled by Bull Moose of the Wood with a fair hand, and remarkable for its otherworldly petting zoo, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful population of 5.077 billion Northern Woodsmen love a good election, and the government gives them plenty of them. Universities tend to be full of students debating the merits of various civil and political rights, while businesses are tightly regulated and the wealthy viewed with suspicion.

The large, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Administration, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Radagast's Rest. The average income tax rate is 99.2%.

The frighteningly efficient North Wood economy, worth a remarkable 1,287 trillion amber thorns a year, is quite specialized and led by the Information Technology industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Tourism, and Beef-Based Agriculture. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 253,531 amber thorns, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Adults pretending to be teenage girls claim to have wholesome motives, major cities run on potato batteries, ample hospital parking is half-filled by the luxury cars of hospital managers, and 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners. Crime is totally unknown. Northern Wood's national animal is the Northern Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Pastoral Pan Worship.

Northern Wood is ranked 207,041st in the world and 406th in Forest for Highest Drug Use, scoring 24.4 on the Pineapple Fondness Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Publishing Industry: 354thLeast Corrupt Governments: 355thBest Weather: 511thNicest Citizens: 521stMost Developed: 531stMost Compassionate Citizens: 573rdLongest Average Lifespans: 589thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 617thHealthiest Citizens: 621stMost Cheerful Citizens: 625thMost Beautiful Environments: 632ndSafest: 651stMost Pacifist: 657thMost Cultured: 800thSmartest Citizens: 902ndLargest Agricultural Sector: 955thMost Inclusive: 983rdMost Efficient Economies: 1,001stLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,043rdLargest Welfare Programs: 1,070thLargest Governments: 1,231stHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 1,304thHighest Average Tax Rates: 1,342ndHighest Poor Incomes: 1,377thLowest Crime Rates: 1,391stMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 1,519thMost Advanced Public Education: 1,631stMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,864thMost Subsidized Industry: 1,894thLargest Information Technology Sector: 2,323rdTop
5%
Most Secular: 2,964thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 3,236thHighest Average Incomes: 3,370thMost Advanced Public Transport: 4,384thTop
10%
Most Valuable International Artwork: 13,328thHighest Economic Output: 13,816thMost Politically Free: 20,775thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 21,857thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 22,097thMost Influential: 23,145thMost Stationary: 23,702nd
Top
1%
Largest Publishing Industry: 3rd in the regionTop
5%
Largest Agricultural Sector: 6th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 6th in the regionMost Developed: 7th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 7th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 8th in the regionNicest Citizens: 9th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 9th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 9th in the regionSafest: 9th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 10th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 11th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 12th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 13th in the regionLargest Governments: 14th in the regionMost Pacifist: 14th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 14th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 15th in the regionMost Cultured: 15th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 15th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 15th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 20th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 20th in the regionBest Weather: 20th in the regionMost Inclusive: 22nd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 22nd in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 22nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 23rd in the regionTop
10%
Highest Average Tax Rates: 25th in the regionMost Politically Free: 31st in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 33rd in the regionMost Secular: 39th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 44th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, 10-year-olds who struggle with integrating by parts are considered slow learners.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, ample hospital parking is half-filled by the luxury cars of hospital managers.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, major cities run on potato batteries.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, adults pretending to be teenage girls claim to have wholesome motives.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, doctors spend more time writing sick notes than caring for the sick.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, a favorite "life hack" for gap year backpackers is to pretend to be homeless for government handouts.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, politicians are often found scavenging bins at night to supplement their income.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, corporate lawyers are joyfully combing through the new tax code for any new loopholes for their clients.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, hackers post hourly updates on international summits.
  • : Following new legislation in Northern Wood, anti-government political posters adorn every building like wallpaper.

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