by Max Barry

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The Wastelands of Nothreen

“My way or the highway” Godfather

Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Corrupted

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: the South Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Nothreen

Population13.955 billion

CapitalEfyuberg
LeaderGodfather
FaithKnockism

Currencygoldeen
AnimalCockroach

The Wastelands of Nothreen is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Godfather with a fair hand, and remarkable for its pith helmet sales, vat-grown people, and enslaved workforce. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless, devout population of 13.955 billion Nothreenians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business, outspoken government, or what there is of one, prioritizes Defense, although Industry is also considered important, while Law & Order and Environment are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Efyuberg. Income tax is unheard of.

The frighteningly efficient Nothreeny economy, worth a remarkable 6,945 trillion goldeens a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with significant contributions from Soda Sales, Gambling, and Arms Manufacturing. Average income is an amazing 497,688 goldeens, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 4,641,879 per year while the poor average 4,727, a ratio of 981 to 1.

Women complaining about lack of opportunity are told to "man up", women wearing male lounge-wear are quizzed for hours by mental health practitioners, the diplomatic corps stinks, and children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Nothreen's national animal is the Cockroach, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Knockism.

Nothreen is ranked 301,663rd in the world and 5,627th in the South Pacific for Largest Welfare Programs, scoring -75.56 on the Safety Net Mesh Density Rating.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 1stHighest Crime Rates: 3rdMost Armed: 5thMost Avoided: 8thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 9thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 9thLargest Retail Industry: 12thHighest Drug Use: 14thFattest Citizens: 16thLargest Gambling Industry: 19thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 49thMost Rebellious Youth: 53rdGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 55thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 58thMost Ignorant Citizens: 99thHighest Disposable Incomes: 112thMost Corrupt Governments: 158thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 297thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 305thHighest Average Incomes: 448thLargest Mining Sector: 499thMost Valuable International Artwork: 1,056thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,203rdLargest Agricultural Sector: 1,482ndMost Politically Free: 1,494thMost Pro-Market: 1,526thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,740thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,741stHighest Economic Output: 1,810thTop
5%
Most Scientifically Advanced: 3,028thMost Efficient Economies: 3,359thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 3,482ndMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 4,229thLargest Information Technology Sector: 7,382ndMost Stationary: 9,917thMost Influential: 13,523rdTop
10%
Most Devout: 17,637thLargest Black Market: 26,138thLargest Populations: 28,941stLargest Publishing Industry: 30,094th
Top
1%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the regionHighest Drug Use: 1st in the regionMost Armed: 1st in the regionRudest Citizens: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionLargest Retail Industry: 2nd in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 3rd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 3rd in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the regionMost Politically Free: 5th in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 5th in the regionMost Pro-Market: 6th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 7th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 9th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 13th in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 15th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 20th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 27th in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 32nd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 35th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 36th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 39th in the regionTop
5%
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 68th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 73rd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 84th in the regionMost Stationary: 179th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 187th in the regionLargest Black Market: 268th in the regionLargest Populations: 281st in the regionTop
10%
Most Devout: 377th in the regionMost Extreme: 382nd in the regionNudest: 465th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, children as young as twelve are conscripted into the armed forces.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, the diplomatic corps stinks.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, women wearing male lounge-wear are quizzed for hours by mental health practitioners.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, women complaining about lack of opportunity are told to "man up".
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, belief that Godfather is a lizard-person from outer space has reached an all-time high.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, many whiskies taste suspiciously like automobile radiators.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, there is an abondance of ackawi and zartschmelzend in every Nothreeny grocery store.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, the government is avowedly secular.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, political shows are fit for purpose.
  • : Following new legislation in Nothreen, the standard government reply to any query is "there is no spoon".

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