by Max Barry

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The Empire of Nozway

“In life full of care there is no time to stop and stare” Otto Kalbergen

Category: Psychotic Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Few

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Balder

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Nozway

Population4.157 billion

CapitalOslo
LeaderOtto Kalbergen

Currencykrone
AnimalMoose

The Empire of Nozway is a massive, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Otto Kalbergen with an iron fist, and remarkable for its keen interest in outer space, parental licensing program, and soft-spoken computers. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 4.157 billion Nozwegians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The large, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Oslo. The average income tax rate is 98.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Nozwegian economy, worth 867 trillion kroner a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is quite specialized, is mostly made up of the Information Technology industry, with significant contributions from Arms Manufacturing and Tourism. Average income is an amazing 208,722 kroner, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Stone wrist watches that weigh 20lb are the latest trend, international collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through Nozway, foreign students are expected to have a Kegmeister Grade Average of 36-24-36 to qualify for university, and swings are now more popular than see-saws in children's playgrounds. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Nozway's national animal is the Moose, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests.

Nozway is ranked 156,216th in the world and 6,249th in Balder for Most Primitive, scoring -831.42 on the Scary Big Number Scale.

Top
1%
Most Secular: 631stLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,126thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,179thTop
5%
Most Developed: 1,717thLowest Crime Rates: 2,341stHighest Average Tax Rates: 2,379thLargest Governments: 2,436thHealthiest Citizens: 2,727thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,865thSmartest Citizens: 2,905thLongest Average Lifespans: 2,924thMost Subsidized Industry: 3,242ndMost Advanced Defense Forces: 3,468thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 3,555thMost Inclusive: 3,687thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 4,114thMost Beautiful Environments: 4,123rdHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 4,352ndSafest: 4,749thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 4,893rdHighest Average Incomes: 5,035thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 5,376thMost Advanced Public Education: 5,540thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 5,678thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 5,893rdMost Advanced Public Transport: 7,347thBest Weather: 7,755thTop
10%
Most Corrupt Governments: 7,903rdMost Cultured: 8,362ndMost Efficient Economies: 8,500thLargest Welfare Programs: 12,389thRudest Citizens: 13,585th
Top
1%
Most Secular: 14th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 25th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 34th in the regionMost Developed: 55th in the regionTop
5%
Smartest Citizens: 92nd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 101st in the regionLargest Governments: 104th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 106th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 113th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 114th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 118th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 135th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 143rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 157th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 171st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 195th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 196th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 207th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 224th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 273rd in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 278th in the regionSafest: 278th in the regionTop
10%
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 325th in the regionMost Influential: 348th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 349th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 355th in the regionBest Weather: 371st in the regionMost Cultured: 429th in the regionMost Stationary: 460th in the regionRudest Citizens: 486th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 487th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 493rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 533rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Nozway was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Best Weather.
  • : Following new legislation in Nozway, swings are now more popular than see-saws in children's playgrounds.
  • : Following new legislation in Nozway, foreign students are expected to have a Kegmeister Grade Average of 36-24-36 to qualify for university.
  • : Nozway was reclassified from "Corrupt Dictatorship" to "Psychotic Dictatorship".
  • : Following new legislation in Nozway, international collectors know that a grease-stain on a work of art probably means it's passed through Nozway.
  • : Following new legislation in Nozway, stone wrist watches that weigh 20lb are the latest trend.
  • : Following new legislation in Nozway, construction of the Really Big Hadron Collider is underway.
  • : Following new legislation in Nozway, schools have extensive counseling programs for troubled students.
  • : Following new legislation in Nozway, power to the people comes from the barrel of a gun.
  • : Following new legislation in Nozway, citizens are deployed to barren deserts to protect small territorial claims.

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