by Max Barry

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The Incorporated States of Old Palvingolf

“Unity forged in fear, power masked by ideals”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Thriving
Political Freedoms:
Unheard Of

Regional Influence: Vassal

Location: Covenant Shores

OverviewMapFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Old Palvingolf

Population316 million

CapitalLuxograd

CurrencyOders
AnimalGrey Wolf

The Incorporated States of Old Palvingolf is a huge, orderly nation, remarkable for its ubiquitous missile silos, enforced nudity, and devotion to social welfare. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 316 million Old Palvingolferians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government prioritizes Defense, with Law & Order, Education, and Administration also on the agenda. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luxograd. The average income tax rate is 75.1%.

The thriving Old Palvingolfian economy, worth 33.4 trillion Oders a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Retail, and Automobile Manufacturing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an impressive 105,819 Oders, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.4 times as much as the poorest.

The nation's water should not be ingested while operating heavy machinery, grim instructresses lead the unwillingly impregnated in chants of "it's all my fault" and "blessed be the fruit", tourists visiting the nation are harangued for being capitalist pig-dogs, and dangerous criminals are often 'accidentally' sent on one-way trips to Maxtopia. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Old Palvingolf's national animal is the Grey Wolf, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Old Palvingolf is ranked 237,096th in the world and 122nd in Covenant Shores for Most Secular, with 14.06 Atheism Rate.

Top
5%
Nudest: 3,264thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 4,855thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 6,386thMost Primitive: 6,694thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 10,648thMost Patriotic: 13,984thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 15,194thTop
10%
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 15,935thMost Corrupt Governments: 20,939thMost Advanced Public Transport: 20,978thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 21,578thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 21,892ndMost Ignorant Citizens: 22,910thLargest Welfare Programs: 26,480thMost Authoritarian: 26,579thHighest Average Tax Rates: 27,416thMost Influential: 31,127th
Top
5%
Nudest: 4th in the regionMost Primitive: 5th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 10th in the regionTop
10%
Highest Foreign Aid Spending: 13th in the regionMost Ignorant Citizens: 13th in the regionHighest Drug Use: 14th in the regionMost Patriotic: 14th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 16th in the regionMost Avoided: 16th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 16th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 16th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 17th in the regionLargest Black Market: 19th in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 19th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 21st in the regionMost Authoritarian: 22nd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, dangerous criminals are often 'accidentally' sent on one-way trips to Maxtopia.
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, tourists visiting the nation are harangued for being capitalist pig-dogs.
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, grim instructresses lead the unwillingly impregnated in chants of "it's all my fault" and "blessed be the fruit".
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, the nation's water should not be ingested while operating heavy machinery.
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, left-wing militias train children how to properly burn down banks.
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, the inchworm that measured the marigolds is six feet under.
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, abortions are carried out secretly in shady backstreet clinics.
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, the government has hired out-of-work fashion designers to design purses for men.
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, the path to inner peace is paved with state-mandated punishment.
  • : Following new legislation in Old Palvingolf, a government program is underway to revitalize Old Palvingolf's beaches.

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