by Max Barry

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The Bottles Full of Olde English 800

“The Legend”

Category: Inoffensive Centrist Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: The Hood

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Olde English 800

Population11.739 billion

CapitalThe Liquor Store
LeaderMiller Brewing Company
FaithOlde English 800

Currency40 ounce
Animaldog

The Bottles Full of Olde English 800 is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Miller Brewing Company with an even hand, and renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, free-roaming dinosaurs, and pith helmet sales. The hard-nosed, hard-working population of 11.739 billion Olde English 800ians have some civil rights, but not too many, enjoy the freedom to spend their money however they like, to a point, and take part in free and open elections, although not too often.

The tiny, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of The Liquor Store. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.9%.

The frighteningly efficient Olde English 800ian economy, worth a remarkable 3,858 trillion 40 ounces a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Gambling. Black market activity is extensive. Average income is an amazing 328,725 40 ounces, with the richest citizens earning 7.2 times as much as the poorest.

Miller Brewing Company has a wardrobe full of fake designer suits, trust-fund babies line up for places in community college, politicians have been known to swim in pools filled with 40 ounces, and police regularly arrest families playing Monopoly. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Olde English 800's national animal is the dog, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Olde English 800.

Olde English 800 is ranked 93,735th in the world and 2nd in The Hood for Largest Cheese Export Sector, scoring 1,802.89 on the Mozzarella Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Gambling Industry: 133rdRudest Citizens: 209thLargest Retail Industry: 211thMost Armed: 212thHighest Crime Rates: 272ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 570thFattest Citizens: 591stHighest Disposable Incomes: 592ndMost Avoided: 595thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 662ndMost Cultured: 972ndMost Corrupt Governments: 995thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,088thMost Scientifically Advanced: 1,456thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,519thHighest Average Incomes: 1,523rdLargest Publishing Industry: 1,616thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,680thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,738thMost Efficient Economies: 1,970thMost Secular: 2,099thTop
5%
Largest Information Technology Sector: 2,334thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,577thHighest Economic Output: 3,070thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 3,414thSmartest Citizens: 3,835thLargest Black Market: 4,140thLargest Mining Sector: 4,190thMost Stationary: 7,219thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 7,489thMost Valuable International Artwork: 7,746thLargest Governments: 8,611thMost Subsidized Industry: 8,659thHighest Poor Incomes: 8,867thTop
10%
Most Influential: 12,579thMost Cheerful Citizens: 12,911thMost Inclusive: 13,760thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 16,462ndLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 17,006thHighest Drug Use: 19,311thMost Advanced Public Education: 19,815thLargest Populations: 22,645th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, police regularly arrest families playing Monopoly.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, politicians have been known to swim in pools filled with 40 ounces.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, trust-fund babies line up for places in community college.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, Miller Brewing Company has a wardrobe full of fake designer suits.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, students are wary of colorfully decorated new teachers with names like Professor Pipsqueak.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, school lessons are constantly interrupted by 'teacher needs a break' time.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, prime commercial land is being swamped with archaeological teams.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, college students make ends meet by selling their kidneys.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, mothers are routinely abandoning their children in the name of women's rights.
  • : Following new legislation in Olde English 800, ten-year-olds regularly found their own political parties.

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