by Max Barry

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The Protectorate of Paffnia

Paffnia was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 276

“Iuvans illos qui auxilium requirunt”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: 10000 Islands



Population25.02 billion

LeaderAleksandar Vekili


The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with a fair hand, and remarkable for its soft-spoken computers, state-planned economy, and stringent health and safety legislation. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 25.02 billion Paffniacs are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The all-consuming Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 5,436 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with major contributions from Tourism and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 217,271 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Doctors who mutter "Oh my God" often lose their medical license, attendance of fathers at PTA meetings is at an all-time high, census workers struggle to account for the rapidly increasing number of citizens to tabulate, and national park visitors are reporting a rash of poison ivy sightings. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the llama, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 18,691st in the world and 105th in 10000 Islands for Most Income Equality, scoring 80.55 on the Marx-Engels Emancipation Scale.

Largest Welfare Programs: 112thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 146thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 161stMost Advanced Public Transport: 277thMost Pacifist: 310thHighest Average Tax Rates: 463rdMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 463rdMost Advanced Public Education: 487thMost Rebellious Youth: 491stLongest Average Lifespans: 496thBest Weather: 517thMost Valuable International Artwork: 553rdHealthiest Citizens: 573rdMost Beautiful Environments: 598thSafest: 603rdMost Influential: 647thNicest Citizens: 650thLargest Governments: 651stMost Compassionate Citizens: 655thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 696thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 746thMost Cheerful Citizens: 787thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 905thHighest Food Quality: 920thMost Inclusive: 965thLowest Crime Rates: 1,050thSmartest Citizens: 1,154thLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,227thMost Cultured: 1,515thHighest Poor Incomes: 2,166thHighest Economic Output: 2,169thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 3,128thLargest Populations: 5,230thHighest Average Incomes: 5,881stMost Subsidized Industry: 6,755thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,005thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 8,529thMost Developed: 9,379thTop
Most Devout: 15,222ndMost Income Equality: 18,691stMost Scientifically Advanced: 20,297th
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 3rd in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 3rd in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 3rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 7th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7th in the regionMost Pacifist: 8th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 10th in the regionBest Weather: 10th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 11th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 11th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 11th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 11th in the regionNicest Citizens: 12th in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 13th in the regionLargest Governments: 14th in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 15th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 16th in the regionSafest: 16th in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 16th in the regionTop
Lowest Crime Rates: 18th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 18th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 19th in the regionHighest Food Quality: 23rd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 23rd in the regionMost Inclusive: 24th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 29th in the regionMost Cultured: 34th in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 36th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 39th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 43rd in the regionLargest Populations: 48th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 52nd in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 78th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 79th in the regionMost Influential: 80th in the regionTop
Highest Average Incomes: 92nd in the regionMost Income Equality: 105th in the regionMost Devout: 128th in the regionMost Developed: 168th in the region

National Happenings

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