by Max Barry

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The Protectorate of Paffnia

Paffnia was Commended by Security Council Resolution # 276

“Moo zombie”

Category: Scandinavian Liberal Paradise
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Powerhouse
Political Freedoms:
Very Good

Regional Influence: Squire

Location: Vapor III

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Paffnia

Population21.093 billion

CapitalSkoptopolis
LeaderAleksandar Vekili

Currencypaffnar
Animalcow

The Protectorate of Paffnia is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Aleksandar Vekili with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, anti-smoking policies, and lack of airports. The compassionate, democratic, cheerful, devout population of 21.093 billion Paffniacs enjoy extensive civil rights and enjoy a level of social equality free from the usual accompanying government corruption.

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, socially-minded morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Welfare, and Healthcare. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Skoptopolis. The income tax rate is 100%.

The powerhouse Paffniac economy, worth a remarkable 4,247 trillion paffnars a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing. Average income is an amazing 201,355 paffnars, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Police struggle to solve crimes due to the lack of fingerprint records, the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents, prudishness is on the way out, and replacement organs are grown in vats. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Paffnia's national animal is the cow, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Paffnia is ranked 201,349th in the world and 3rd in Vapor III for Most Advanced Defense Forces, scoring -10.95 on the Total War Preparedness Rating.

Top
1%
Largest Welfare Programs: 115thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 182ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 262ndMost Pacifist: 320thMost Advanced Public Transport: 327thMost Valuable International Artwork: 351stMost Influential: 396thHighest Average Tax Rates: 492ndMost Rebellious Youth: 533rdMost Advanced Public Education: 573rdNicest Citizens: 593rdBest Weather: 597thMost Compassionate Citizens: 612thLongest Average Lifespans: 620thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 624thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 638thSafest: 667thMost Beautiful Environments: 682ndLargest Governments: 684thHealthiest Citizens: 723rdMost Cheerful Citizens: 851stHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 864thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,120thLowest Crime Rates: 1,135thLeast Corrupt Governments: 1,252ndMost Inclusive: 1,289thSmartest Citizens: 1,297thMost Cultured: 1,549thHighest Poor Incomes: 1,983rdTop
5%
Highest Economic Output: 2,412thLargest Publishing Industry: 3,193rdMost Devout: 4,208thLargest Populations: 5,612thMost Subsidized Industry: 5,947thHighest Average Incomes: 6,152ndMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 7,165thTop
10%
Most Income Equality: 11,432ndMost Developed: 15,390thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 18,117th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Paffnia voted against the World Assembly Resolution "Integrity in Law Enforcement".
  • : Following new legislation in Paffnia, replacement organs are grown in vats.
  • : Following new legislation in Paffnia, prudishness is on the way out.
  • : Following new legislation in Paffnia, the nation's diplomats shake hands with those whose hands are drenched in the blood of innocents.
  • : Following new legislation in Paffnia, police struggle to solve crimes due to the lack of fingerprint records.
  • : Paffnia changed its national motto to "Moo zombie".
  • : Following new legislation in Paffnia, pony-derived products are greasing the wheels of industry (Paffnia has found 8 easter eggs).
  • : Paffnia's influence in Vapor III rose from "Page" to "Squire".
  • : Paffnia's influence in Vapor III rose from "Shoeshiner" to "Page".
  • : Following new legislation in Paffnia, people can't decide between preserving forests and buying print copies of 'Dogman Versus The Giggler'.

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World Assembly

Endorsements Received: None.

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