by Max Barry

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Spotlight on:

National Flag

The Commonwealth of Palenhold

“Striving towards a brigter future”

Category: Left-wing Utopia
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:
World Benchmark

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: The North Pacific



Population2.113 billion

LeaderConnor Wesley
FaithColleagues of the Holy Iron


The Commonwealth of Palenhold is a massive, cultured nation, ruled by Connor Wesley with a fair hand, and renowned for its keen interest in outer space, soft-spoken computers, and pith helmet sales. The compassionate, democratic population of 2.113 billion Palenholdians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The enormous, socially-minded, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Healthcare, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Luskan. The average income tax rate is 74.3%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The powerhouse Palenholdian economy, worth 177 trillion Pals a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector is led by the Tourism industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is 83,795 Pals, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Concussed Owlbearball players cannot remember their lineup position, the government seems embarrassed to be seen governing, bins outnumber trees in city parks, and photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in Connor Wesley's bedroom. Crime is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Palenhold's national animal is the Owlbear, which frolics freely in the nation's many lush forests, and its national religion is Colleagues of the Holy Iron.

Palenhold is ranked 192,131st in the world and 8,297th in The North Pacific for Most Avoided, scoring 0.59 on the Kardashian Reflex Score.

Most World Assembly Endorsements: 1,071stMost Influential: 1,601stTop
Most Pacifist: 5,895thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 7,525thSafest: 7,532ndLeast Corrupt Governments: 8,275thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 8,346thMost Compassionate Citizens: 8,867thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 9,182ndNicest Citizens: 9,322ndTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 10,922ndBest Weather: 12,135thMost Inclusive: 12,832ndMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 13,744thMost Income Equality: 13,907thLargest Welfare Programs: 14,032ndMost Advanced Public Education: 15,308thLongest Average Lifespans: 15,738thMost Beautiful Environments: 15,866thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 16,131stMost Rebellious Youth: 16,366thHealthiest Citizens: 18,929thHighest Poor Incomes: 19,411th
Most Politically Apathetic Citizens: 287th in the regionMost Pacifist: 331st in the regionHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 363rd in the regionSafest: 421st in the regionLeast Corrupt Governments: 455th in the regionTop
Most Extensive Public Healthcare: 473rd in the regionMost Compassionate Citizens: 501st in the regionNicest Citizens: 521st in the regionMost Politically Free: 569th in the regionMost Rebellious Youth: 595th in the regionBest Weather: 629th in the regionMost Influential: 630th in the regionLargest Welfare Programs: 638th in the regionMost Income Equality: 639th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 659th in the regionMost World Assembly Endorsements: 749th in the regionMost Inclusive: 757th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 791st in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 800th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 833rd in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 852nd in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 856th in the regionHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 893rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, photographers can be found hiding behind the curtains in Connor Wesley's bedroom.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, bins outnumber trees in city parks.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, the government seems embarrassed to be seen governing.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, concussed Owlbearball players cannot remember their lineup position.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, being Connor Wesley has been voted one of the top ten most dangerous jobs.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, the nation locks people up and tells them they're mad for compassion's sake.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, Connor Wesley's luxurious new home has been designated as a protected cultural heritage site.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, crowds of flag-burning protesters tend to accidentally become crowds of burning protesters.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, police conduct weekly raids looking for contraband cheeseburgers.
  • : Following new legislation in Palenhold, several citizens have complained about scientists abducting their pets for experimentation.


World Assembly

Endorsements Received: 177 » Runeda, Territorio di Nessuno, Siwale, Yaorozu, The Rhein States, Omnistria, Loutsland, Sunto, Sil Dorsett, Trillius, The Stratosphere Islands, Great Bights Mum, New Octicarg, PlanetPunk, Corfad, Dreadton, Dar es Saalam, Notyoutopia, North Bratislava, Kwaj, Newpromisedland, Shibutani, Daiz, Kasazzastan, El Fiji Grande, Bearical, Guer Aike, New Lakemba, Maott, Zumlandia, Shadowrik, Eri-Maqa-Ena, Koda-Land, Sundred, 1 very fast endotarter, Nakayo, Pasargad, Wisconsota, Wineclaw, Holy Oranz, Destructive Government Endorsing System, Steampunk Ariel, The Tampa Bay Rays, Prydania, McMasterdonia, Gnomewatchers, Selfgradatude, Moubarakistan, Solskjar, Glurponia, and 127 others.Joodey, Frances Francis the First of France, Xentherida, Pleroma Sans Romans, Partax, Kranostav, Yukti, PotatoFarmers, Pazair, United Kahndaq, The Iron Lions, Seenvorland, Vincone Cae, Viridiann, Clan Spaniel, Dabarastan, Zyvetskistaahn, Orado, Pallaith, Interdimensional Zone, Ravendi, Valhalla123, Empy, Ethnon, Valentine Z, Praeceps, Fendlium, Volstokn, Cobleck Weleis, Tachycardia, Abject Ludicrosity, Avemterra, Napnomadia, Makersaulache, Loli County, Serendipita Martia, Hamerica, Wilkshire, Merconitonitopia, Noahs Second Country, Universal State Formula, Woodsend, Xagill, The New Communist Republic Of States, MiaryBhalzhack, The Endless Eventide, Votak Matim, SherpDaWerp in TNP, Ihese, Diodone, Crader, Yokciq Empire, Plangainer, SORT, Varola, Malta Comino Gozo, The Windmilluminati, Supreme Leader Hadrian, Nistriabar, Unshleepd, Irishvan, Kobagia, The Pantheons, Korovan Isles, The Most Freedom Ever, Zeternia, Astronomical, Westinor, The Serdey Islands, Fauzjhia, Greater Pittsburgh, Mesopotama, Frostcell, Sikol, Saperisole, Zzozona, Nordic-British Union, Former English Colony, Shinjuku tokyo 0, Asoc lon, Kocherian, The Calabash Protectorate, Seanat, Pizza Squared, Libertania Democratica, Brucklania, Arichia, Schnuftelland, Highton Islands, New Jamgra, Xyrron, Madjack, Nolan Burg, Kragsgale, Xipher, Simone Republic, Astal Aavors, Amerian States, Illusia and Neverendia, Ultra777, Buckhem, Andexia, Principia Mathematica, Innocentic, U S Eh, Ihsan, Eschatosia, Therizia, Aerilia, Cretox State, Morover, Harjad, Heilhum Imperius, Arlens Apartment, Nouvelle-Floride, Eywaan, Outer Shenendoah, Amprak, Comfed, The Kingdom Of Wagies, Chips and Guac, Navsland, Hardscrabble, Lulubellia, Abonland, R libanon, and Sopernia.

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