by Max Barry

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Spotlight on:

National Flag

The Republic of Panama

“Pro Mundi Beneficio”

Category: Capitalist Paradise
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: The Coalition of Democratic Nations



Population14.822 billion

CapitalPanama City
LeaderPresident Juan Carlos Varela
FaithRoman Catholic


The Republic of Panama is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by President Juan Carlos Varela with an even hand, and renowned for its frequent executions, keen interest in outer space, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless population of 14.822 billion Panamanians are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The minute, corrupt, pro-business government, or what there is of one, juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Panama City. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 1.0%.

The frighteningly efficient Panaman economy, worth a remarkable 3,203 trillion Balboas a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Gambling, and Retail. Average income is an amazing 216,128 Balboas, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,958,576 per year while the poor average 2,804, a ratio of 698 to 1.

A suspicious number of male students have joined the Ladies' Wrestling League, it is illegal to brush crumbs off your clothing outdoors, owners of man-portable particle accelerator backpacks are advised not to cross the streams, and Panaman actors literally work from cradle to grave. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, probably because of the absence of a police force. Panama's national animal is the Fish, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to heavy metals seepage into national waterways, and its national religion is Roman Catholic.

Panama is ranked 565th in the world and 1st in The Coalition of Democratic Nations for Highest Crime Rates, with 71.68 Crimes Per Hour.

Greatest Rich-Poor Divides: 457thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 511thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 538thHighest Crime Rates: 565thMost Armed: 730thLargest Gambling Industry: 966thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,056thLargest Insurance Industry: 1,101stHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,445thHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,508thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1,576thMost Avoided: 1,658thFattest Citizens: 1,767thTop
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,253rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 2,405thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2,565thMost Rebellious Youth: 3,274thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 3,580thHighest Economic Output: 3,788thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 3,867thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 4,654thRudest Citizens: 4,999thHighest Average Incomes: 5,083rdLargest Retail Industry: 5,754thMost Efficient Economies: 6,209thLargest Mining Sector: 6,932ndLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,726thHighest Workforce Participation Rate: 8,239thTop
Largest Publishing Industry: 10,660thMost Scientifically Advanced: 10,770thMost Pro-Market: 13,544thLargest Populations: 14,102ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 14,240thLargest Black Market: 18,166thMost Subsidized Industry: 19,610th
Largest Gambling Industry: 1st in the regionFattest Citizens: 1st in the regionLargest Insurance Industry: 1st in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1st in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1st in the regionHighest Crime Rates: 1st in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 1st in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1st in the regionGreatest Rich-Poor Divides: 1st in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1st in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 2nd in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 2nd in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2nd in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 2nd in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 2nd in the regionMost Armed: 2nd in the regionTop
Most Rebellious Youth: 3rd in the regionMost Pro-Market: 3rd in the regionMost Avoided: 3rd in the regionHighest Economic Output: 4th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 5th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 5th in the region

National Happenings

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