by Max Barry

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The Panderers of Pandaland MMIXX

“Eats Shoots And Leaves” Panderboy

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Few
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: the West Pacific

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Pandaland MMIXX

Population9.889 billion

CapitalBamboo City
LeaderPanderboy
FaithBambooism

CurrencyBamboo Shoots
AnimalGiant Panda

The Panderers of Pandaland MMIXX is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Panderboy with an iron fist, and notable for its frequent executions, avowedly heterosexual populace, and prohibition of alcohol. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 9.889 billion Pandaland MMIXXians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Industry. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bamboo City. The average income tax rate is 77.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Pandaland MMIXXian economy, worth a remarkable 1,649 trillion Bamboo Shoots a year, is dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Woodchip Exports. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is an impressive 166,843 Bamboo Shoots, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.8 times as much as the poorest.

Plain-clothes police officers follow Dàguó tourists everywhere they go, construction workers evacuate work sites after finding sharp rocks on the ground, parents giddily refuse to pay their toddlers' medical bills, and the nation's interest in space is at an all-time high while interest in saving the planet is at an all-time low. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pandaland MMIXX's national animal is the Giant Panda, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Bambooism.

Pandaland MMIXX is ranked 19,116th in the world and 178th in the West Pacific for Most Stationary, with 1,649.00444463648 days.

Top
1%
Most Devout: 1,586thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 2,953rdTop
5%
Most Advanced Defense Forces: 5,227thMost Armed: 5,456thLargest Black Market: 6,268thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,241stMost Corrupt Governments: 8,057thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,060thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 8,901stMost Patriotic: 9,546thLowest Crime Rates: 10,965thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 11,233rdMost Subsidized Industry: 14,381stMost Efficient Economies: 14,493rdTop
10%
Healthiest Citizens: 15,630thHighest Economic Output: 15,892ndHighest Average Incomes: 16,847thLargest Governments: 18,602ndMost Stationary: 19,116thLargest Publishing Industry: 19,595thMost Advanced Public Education: 20,882ndMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 20,979thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 21,625thHighest Average Tax Rates: 22,420thLargest Information Technology Sector: 22,717thMost Influential: 23,362ndMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 23,566thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 25,103rdMost Cultured: 27,746th
Top
1%
Most Devout: 16th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 36th in the regionTop
5%
Most Armed: 46th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 54th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 60th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 65th in the regionLargest Black Market: 69th in the regionMost Patriotic: 70th in the regionLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 70th in the regionLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 71st in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 87th in the regionMost Subsidized Industry: 124th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 164th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 166th in the regionMost Stationary: 178th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 191st in the regionHighest Economic Output: 197th in the regionTop
10%
Healthiest Citizens: 242nd in the regionLargest Governments: 254th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 264th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 284th in the regionLargest Populations: 290th in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 295th in the regionHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 298th in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 312th in the regionLargest Cheese Export Sector: 315th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 316th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 318th in the regionLargest Mining Sector: 378th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 384th in the regionMost Cultured: 392nd in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 427th in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Pandaland MMIXX, the nation's interest in space is at an all-time high while interest in saving the planet is at an all-time low.
  • : Following new legislation in Pandaland MMIXX, parents giddily refuse to pay their toddlers' medical bills.
  • : Following new legislation in Pandaland MMIXX, construction workers evacuate work sites after finding sharp rocks on the ground.
  • : Following new legislation in Pandaland MMIXX, plain-clothes police officers follow Dàguó tourists everywhere they go.
  • : Following new legislation in Pandaland MMIXX, eating kids as food has been enshrined in law.
  • : Pandaland MMIXX's influence in The West Pacific rose from "Sprat" to "Shoeshiner".
  • : Pandaland MMIXX was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Advanced Law Enforcement.
  • : Following new legislation in Pandaland MMIXX, politicians are battling inequality by declaring themselves better than everyone else.
  • : Following new legislation in Pandaland MMIXX, trick-or-treaters and circus clowns have been arrested under suspicion of being renegade vigilantes.
  • : Following new legislation in Pandaland MMIXX, farmers have taken to hunting billionaires who encroach on their land.

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