The Eternal Misfortune of Pencil Sharpeners is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Leader with a fair hand, and notable for its deadly medical pandemics, unlimited-speed roads, and clockwork self-driving vehicles. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, devout population of 21.61 billion Pencil Sharpeners live in a state of perpetual fear, as a complete breakdown of social order has led to the rise of order through biker gangs.

There is no government in the normal sense of the word; however, a small group of community-minded, corrupt, liberal, pro-business, outspoken individuals is solely concerned with Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Pencilpolis. Income tax is unheard of.

The imploded Pencil Sharpener economy, worth 121 billion Pencil Shavings a year, defies classification, with the entire state effectively one black market. Average income is 5 Pencil Shavings, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 38 per year while the poor average 0.3, a ratio of 129 to 1.

Pencil Sharpeners have replaced bears in a popular idiom, Leader is refusing to make decisions until the Moon is out of Capricorn, eight-year-olds can be seen lighting up in public areas, and closed universities are currently being converted into McRonald's restaurants. Crime, especially youth-related, is so common that it is unusual to encounter someone following the law, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Pencil Sharpeners's national animal is the Pencil, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Pencil Sharpeners is ranked 329,035^th in the world and 74^th in Nudist Dreamland for Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry, scoring -47.24 on the Tasmanian Pulp Environmental Export Index.