The Kingdom of Phat Tai is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by King Rama Vajiralongkorn X with an iron fist, and renowned for its avowedly heterosexual populace, zero percent divorce rate, and keen interest in outer space. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical population of 6.427 billion Phat Taianesse are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The relatively small, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Law & Order, Industry, and Spirituality also on the agenda, while International Aid and Public Transport are ignored. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Xiva. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 17.0%.

The powerhouse Phat Taianesse economy, worth 626 trillion Wotongs a year, is broadly diversified and dominated by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Retail, Automobile Manufacturing, and Information Technology. Average income is 97,519 Wotongs, with the richest citizens earning 6.0 times as much as the poorest.

A proud mining community is considering a rebellion after the Capital officially renamed them 'District XII', murder victims' families receive windfall payouts when the murderers are executed, the nation has nearly as many history museums as Phat Taianesse, and citizens are expected to be proficient in at least five languages. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a capable police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Phat Tai's national animal is the Parrot, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution, and its national religion is Orangeism.

Phat Tai is ranked 210,552^nd in the world and 103^rd in Barbaria for Most Advanced Public Education, scoring 1,008.68 on the Edu-tellignce® Test Score.