The Republic of Pittsburgh Penguins is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its frequent executions, ubiquitous missile silos, and ritual sacrifices. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless, devout population of 10.925 billion Pittsburgh Penguinsians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 67.6%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Pittsburgh Penguinsian economy, worth a remarkable 1,513 trillion guilders a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Uranium Mining, and Basket Weaving. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 138,563 guilders, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.0 times as much as the poorest.

The government is spending billions of taxpayer guilders to support "struggling" industries, it is mandatory to learn evolution in schools, the nation's laws on image rights are amongst the strictest in the world, and endangered species are effective hostages against the Pittsburgh Penguinsian military. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Pittsburgh Penguins's national animal is the eagle, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to toxic air pollution.

Pittsburgh Penguins is ranked 27,875^th in the world and 1,002^nd in The North Pacific for Lowest Crime Rates, with 84.03 law-abiding acts per hour.