by Max Barry

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The Große Kaiserstaat of Piznia

“Krieg ist notwendig für den Frieden” Kaiserin Victoria Streckenbach

Category: Capitalizt
Civil Rights:
Superb
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Average

Regional Influence: Hermit

Location: Mitteleuropa

OverviewFactbookDispatchesPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Piznia

Population8.873 billion

CapitalLöwenstadt
LeaderKaiserin Victoria Streckenbach
FaithLutheran

CurrencyPiz
AnimalLion

The Große Kaiserstaat of Piznia is a colossal, socially progressive nation, ruled by Kaiserin Victoria Streckenbach with an even hand, and remarkable for its rum-swilling pirates, museums and concert halls, and complete absence of social welfare. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 8.873 billion Piznians enjoy some of the most opulent lifestyles in the region, unless they are unemployed or working-class, in which case they are variously starving to death or crippled by easily preventable diseases.

The tiny, corrupt government is primarily concerned with Defense, with Education, Industry, and Administration also on the agenda, while Welfare and Social Policy aren't funded at all. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Löwenstadt. The average income tax rate is 1.7%.

The frighteningly efficient Piznian economy, worth a remarkable 2,916 trillion Pizzes a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Information Technology, Retail, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is frequent. Average income is an amazing 328,659 Pizzes, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.2 times as much as the poorest.

Scientific progress marches ever forward with the first ever launch of a cheeseburger into space, homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them, political candidates recite daily pledges of loyalty to their chosen party, and muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions. Crime is a major problem, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Piznia's national animal is the Lion, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Lutheran.

Piznia is ranked 2,644th in the world and 1st in Mitteleuropa for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 11,081.62 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Top
1%
Rudest Citizens: 364thHighest Disposable Incomes: 508thMost Corrupt Governments: 570thLargest Retail Industry: 657thFattest Citizens: 827thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 934thMost Armed: 954thLargest Insurance Industry: 987thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 1,059thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,155thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,170thMost Devout: 1,180thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,220thMost Avoided: 1,260thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,343rdLargest Gambling Industry: 1,445thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 1,463rdLargest Mining Sector: 1,466thHighest Average Incomes: 1,472ndHighest Unexpected Death Rate: 1,649thMost Cultured: 2,098thMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,207thTop
5%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 2,644thHighest Poor Incomes: 3,562ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 3,805thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 4,115thHighest Economic Output: 4,502ndMost Efficient Economies: 4,951stSmartest Citizens: 5,308thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 5,597thLargest Publishing Industry: 5,943rdMost Valuable International Artwork: 6,075thLargest Black Market: 7,084thHighest Crime Rates: 7,334thLargest Governments: 7,538thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 8,238thTop
10%
Most Influential: 13,109thMost Stationary: 14,396thHighest Drug Use: 19,793rdLargest Cheese Export Sector: 19,859th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Piznia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Scientifically Advanced.
  • : Piznia was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Cultured.
  • : Following new legislation in Piznia, muscular women are banned from competing in sporting competitions.
  • : Following new legislation in Piznia, political candidates recite daily pledges of loyalty to their chosen party.
  • : Following new legislation in Piznia, homeowners on prime real estate have been seen dodging giant bulldozers with cartoon characters painted on them.
  • : Following new legislation in Piznia, scientific progress marches ever forward with the first ever launch of a cheeseburger into space.
  • : Following new legislation in Piznia, Merry Birthday is a popular protest song despite the risk of fines and royalty dues.
  • : Piznia was ranked in the Top 5% of the world for Highest Poor Incomes.
  • : Following new legislation in Piznia, sullen teenagers in bright orange 'community payback' onesies can be seen picking litter at the roadside.
  • : Following new legislation in Piznia, babies are a small but significant export.

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