The Kingdom of PlanetMercury is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Freddie Mercury with an iron fist, and notable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, compulsory military service, and punitive income tax rates. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless population of 2.358 billion PlanetMercuries are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The large, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Industry, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Bulsara. The average income tax rate is 69.6%.

The frighteningly efficient PlanetMercuryian economy, worth 377 trillion pounds a year, is mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Uranium Mining, Information Technology, and Beef-Based Agriculture. Average income is an impressive 159,935 pounds, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.6 times as much as the poorest.

Pet owners make sure their dogs wear diapers, childhood friends of Freddie Mercury are living it large abroad at the taxpayers' expense, commuters are denied boarding for attempting to bring packed lunches onto trains, and Bulsara's main city thoroughfare has been blocked by a row of leyland cypresses that mysteriously appeared overnight. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. PlanetMercury's national animal is the Cat, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

PlanetMercury is ranked 24,553^rd in the world and 867^th in The North Pacific for Highest Wealthy Incomes, with 288,400 Standard Monetary Units.