The Great Kingdom of Platonalandopolis is a gargantuan, orderly nation, ruled by Sumo Filósofo Rey with an iron fist, and remarkable for its ban on automobiles, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and fear of technology. The compassionate, cynical, humorless, devout population of 16.388 billion Platonalandopolisians are ruled without fear or favor by a psychotic dictator, who outlaws just about everything and refers to the populace as "my little playthings."

The government — a sprawling, bureaucracy-choked, corrupt, socially-minded, well-organized morass — juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Platonalandódemos. The income tax rate is 100%.

The frighteningly efficient Platonalandopolisian economy, worth a remarkable 3,296 trillion Drakmas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. The industrial sector, which is highly specialized, is led by the Book Publishing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism, Basket Weaving, and Information Technology. Average income is an amazing 201,133 Drakmas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 2.1 times as much as the poorest.

There's nothing more gay than bleeding for your nation, political activists are routinely executed, invasive drug testing is now performed at elementary school sports days, and intellectual snobbery has the cognoscenti sneering at anyone who doesn't have an opinion on the semiological drift of Umberto Eco's works. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Platonalandopolis's national animal is the Dog, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Geogénesis.

Platonalandopolis is ranked 367^th in the world and 1^st in United Splendid Marmotlands for Lowest Crime Rates, with 212.25 law-abiding acts per hour.