The Commonwealth of Poina is a gargantuan, genial nation, ruled by Eyden with an even hand, and notable for its smutty television, national health service, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, cheerful population of 11.101 billion Poinans are prohibited from doing almost everything except voting, which they do timidly and conservatively.

It is difficult to tell where the omnipresent, corrupt, moralistic, socially-minded government stops and the rest of society begins, but it juggles the competing demands of Industry, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Poino. The average income tax rate is 99.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Poinan economy, worth a remarkable 2,778 trillion Nugs a year, is driven almost entirely by government activity, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is an enormous, deeply entrenched, extremely specialized black market in Information Technology. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 250,261 Nugs, and distributed extremely evenly, with practically no difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Battlefield gains are quickly lost when enemies don't respect a time-out, asking 'does my bum look big in this?' leads to 30 hours of self-esteem classes, official medical guidelines insist that childbirth is 'almost totally painless', and the government is promoting multicultural values with the new 'Just Be Nice, OK?' initiative. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Poina's national animal is the Bat, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Juropijan Cults.

Poina is ranked 4,291^st in the world and 94^th in Europe for Most Cultured, scoring 178 on the Snufflebottom-Wiggendum Pentatonic Scale.