by Max Barry

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The Imperial Grand Duchy of Pristinian Preserve

“Re-education is always free in the Pristinian Preserve.” Marcus XIV Magnus Dux Imperator

Category: Father Knows Best State
Civil Rights:
Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Rare

Regional Influence: Shoeshiner

Location: Lazarus

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Pristinian Preserve

Population11.878 billion

CapitalBaiji
LeaderMarcus XIV Magnus Dux Imperator

Currencyquagga
AnimalPassenger Pigeon

The Imperial Grand Duchy of Pristinian Preserve is a gargantuan, environmentally stunning nation, ruled by Marcus XIV Magnus Dux Imperator with an iron fist, and notable for its free-roaming dinosaurs, vat-grown people, and frequent executions. The hard-nosed, cynical, humorless population of 11.878 billion Preserveans are ruled by a mostly-benevolent dictator, who grants the populace the freedom to live their own lives but watches carefully for anyone to slip up.

The tiny, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Environment, Education, and Defense. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Baiji. The average income tax rate is 3.3%.

The frighteningly efficient Pristinian Preservean economy, worth a remarkable 2,427 trillion quaggas a year, is driven entirely by a combination of government and state-owned industry, with private enterprise illegal. However, for those in the know, there is a large, well-organized, fairly diversified black market in Tourism, Information Technology, Arms Manufacturing, and Book Publishing. The private sector mostly consists of enterprising ten-year-olds selling lemonade on the sidewalk, but the government is looking at stamping this out. Average income is an amazing 204,382 quaggas, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 4.4 times as much as the poorest.

Marcus XIV Magnus Dux Imperator has been known to make speeches in fishing waders, hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have, city budgets are spent entirely on supporting the town royalty, and the weather in Baiji is always 'pigeons with a chance of droppings'. Crime is almost non-existent. Pristinian Preserve's national animal is the Passenger Pigeon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies.

Pristinian Preserve is ranked 220,799th in the world and 8,172nd in Lazarus for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -13.78 on the Clooney Contribution Index.

Top
1%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 835thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 1,709thHighest Disposable Incomes: 1,724thLowest Overall Tax Burden: 1,986thTop
5%
Most Beautiful Environments: 2,796thBest Weather: 4,134thLargest Publishing Industry: 4,289thLargest Information Technology Sector: 4,396thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 5,174thLargest Black Market: 5,418thMost Cultured: 5,545thHighest Economic Output: 5,931stHighest Average Incomes: 5,937thMost Scientifically Advanced: 6,771stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 7,390thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 7,990thMost Corrupt Governments: 8,334thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 8,850thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 9,503rdMost Efficient Economies: 10,247thMost Secular: 10,605thLargest Soda Pop Sector: 11,291stTop
10%
Smartest Citizens: 11,442ndMost Armed: 11,816thMost Valuable International Artwork: 12,250thHighest Poor Incomes: 12,844thMost Developed: 15,422ndMost Influential: 15,487thMost Stationary: 15,631stLargest Retail Industry: 17,025thLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 20,736thLargest Populations: 21,227th
Top
1%
Largest Cheese Export Sector: 50th in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 78th in the regionTop
5%
Highest Disposable Incomes: 85th in the regionLowest Overall Tax Burden: 117th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 130th in the regionBest Weather: 187th in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 210th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 210th in the regionMost Stationary: 237th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 238th in the regionMost Cultured: 285th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 287th in the regionLargest Black Market: 295th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 307th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 363rd in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 395th in the regionTop
10%
Most Influential: 427th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 433rd in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 453rd in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 470th in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 472nd in the regionLargest Soda Pop Sector: 506th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 516th in the regionHighest Wealthy Incomes: 523rd in the regionHighest Drug Use: 579th in the regionMost Secular: 599th in the regionMost Armed: 605th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 628th in the regionLargest Populations: 668th in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 688th in the regionRudest Citizens: 707th in the regionLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 762nd in the regionNudest: 783rd in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, the weather in Baiji is always 'pigeons with a chance of droppings'.
  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, city budgets are spent entirely on supporting the town royalty.
  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, hypochondriacs demand treatment for genetic disorders they don't have.
  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, Marcus XIV Magnus Dux Imperator has been known to make speeches in fishing waders.
  • : Pristinian Preserve was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Largest Populations.
  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, internet searches for the inventor of the three-wheeled steam-powered Pristinian Preservean weed picker are way up.
  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, the pursuit of wanted criminals ends at the entrance of the pay'n'spray garage as police refuse to enter any private property.
  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, pocket calculators are seen as status symbols for the ostentatiously wealthy.
  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, Pristinian Preservean novella fans become unusually flustered when thinking about Marcus XIV Magnus Dux Imperator.
  • : Following new legislation in Pristinian Preserve, landless farmers wander forlornly in the government's many national parks.

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