by Max Barry

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The Memleket of Qazaq Eli

“Sabaqtastyq, Ädıldık, Örleu” Qasym-Jomart Toqaev

Category: New York Times Democracy
Civil Rights:
Very Good
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Excellent

Regional Influence: Superpower

Location: Turkic Union

OverviewFactbookPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Qazaq Eli

Population21.931 billion

CapitalAstana
LeaderQasym-Jomart Toqaev
FaithSecularism

CurrencyQazaq Teñge
Animalsnow leopard

The Memleket of Qazaq Eli is a gargantuan, efficient nation, ruled by Qasym-Jomart Toqaev with a fair hand, and remarkable for its barren, inhospitable landscape, strictly enforced bedtime, and smutty television. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic, humorless population of 21.931 billion Qazaqs enjoy a sensible mix of personal and economic freedoms, while the political process is open and the people's right to vote held sacrosanct.

The relatively small, corrupt government juggles the competing demands of Industry, Defense, and Education. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Astana. The average income tax rate is 77.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Qazaq economy, worth an astonishing 10,567 trillion Qazaq Teñges a year, is broadly diversified and mostly comprised of black market activity, especially in Arms Manufacturing, Information Technology, Retail, and Soda Sales. Average income is an amazing 481,838 Qazaq Teñges, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Government negotiators never forget to say "pretty please" when begging for custody of its criminals, Occam's razor has sliced to pieces any childhood belief in Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy, leading ethologists are being investigated for illegal electoral interference, and forgetting to pay your annual passport bill is a leading cause of deportations. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Qazaq Eli's national animal is the snow leopard, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation, and its national religion is Secularism.

Qazaq Eli is ranked 1,619th in the world and 1st in Turkic Union for Largest Furniture Restoration Industry, scoring 14,409.33 on the Spitz-Pollish Productivity Index.

Top
1%
Largest Soda Pop Sector: 253rdLargest Black Market: 270thLargest Retail Industry: 305thMost Subsidized Industry: 404thHighest Poor Incomes: 430thRudest Citizens: 495thLargest Gambling Industry: 549thHighest Average Incomes: 590thMost Efficient Economies: 591stLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 674thMost Armed: 747thHighest Economic Output: 798thFattest Citizens: 826thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 1,465thMost Rebellious Youth: 1,471stLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 1,619thLargest Cheese Export Sector: 1,622ndHighest Crime Rates: 1,652ndLargest Publishing Industry: 1,668thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1,776thLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 1,822ndLargest Information Technology Sector: 1,856thLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 2,053rdMost Scientifically Advanced: 2,113thMost Advanced Public Transport: 2,225thMost Corrupt Governments: 2,842ndTop
5%
Highest Unexpected Death Rate: 3,423rdLargest Governments: 3,460thLargest Insurance Industry: 3,478thMost Avoided: 3,538thSmartest Citizens: 4,090thMost Advanced Public Education: 4,856thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 5,233rdHighest Disposable Incomes: 5,987thMost Cultured: 6,885thMost Inclusive: 8,330thMost Influential: 10,402ndMost Valuable International Artwork: 11,327thMost Patriotic: 14,520thHighest Food Quality: 15,295thLargest Populations: 15,504thTop
10%
Largest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 17,718thMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 19,172ndMost Secular: 19,522ndHighest Average Tax Rates: 23,268thMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 30,337thLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 31,102nd

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