by Max Barry

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The Based Department of Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich

“Every Man A King.” Huey Longerreich

Category: Corrupt Dictatorship
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Sprat

Location: The East Pacific


Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich

Population3.72 billion

CapitalDarKspawn of Columbia
LeaderHuey Longerreich


The Based Department of Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich is a massive, orderly nation, ruled by Huey Longerreich with an iron fist, and remarkable for its parental licensing program, anti-smoking policies, and stringent health and safety legislation. The hard-nosed, cynical, devout population of 3.72 billion Longists are ruled with an iron fist by the dictatorship government, which ensures that no-one outside the party gets too rich. In their personal lives, however, citizens are relatively unoppressed; it remains to be seen whether this is because the government genuinely cares about its people, or if it hasn't gotten around to stamping out civil rights yet.

The medium-sized, corrupt, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Law & Order. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of DarKspawn of Columbia. The average income tax rate is 72.5%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Longist economy, worth 522 trillion Dollarreiches a year, is fairly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Tourism, Information Technology, and Book Publishing. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an impressive 140,435 Dollarreiches, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

Most ambassadors from Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich retire only a few years after being appointed, conscripts often volunteer for a second tour of duty so they can get a ticket to next year's Army Revue, explicit slash fiction is repackaged for kindergarten kids as stories about friends cuddling friends, and the Foreign Ministry thinks an eye for an eye is a blindingly good idea. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich's national animal is the Kingfish, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Restoration of Eastern Kaiserreich is ranked 133,366th in the world and 5,333rd in The East Pacific for Largest Soda Pop Sector, scoring 144.25 on the Addison-Fukk Productivity Rating.

Most Cultured: 8,560thLowest Crime Rates: 9,144thLargest Publishing Industry: 9,440thHighest Poor Incomes: 9,780thHealthiest Citizens: 10,159thLongest Average Lifespans: 10,557thMost Corrupt Governments: 10,928thMost Developed: 11,153rdTop
Most Influential: 12,116thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 12,671stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 12,751stMost Advanced Defense Forces: 12,759thLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 13,307thMost Devout: 13,374thLargest Manufacturing Sector: 14,030thMost Valuable International Artwork: 14,431stLargest Governments: 15,105thMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 15,214thBest Weather: 15,341stHighest Average Incomes: 15,866thMost Beautiful Environments: 16,301stMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 16,809thMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 16,995thSmartest Citizens: 17,651stMost Scientifically Advanced: 18,305thMost Advanced Public Education: 19,709thMost Advanced Public Transport: 20,589thMost Cheerful Citizens: 20,721stLargest Agricultural Sector: 21,328th
Most Cultured: 219th in the regionLargest Publishing Industry: 228th in the regionLowest Crime Rates: 263rd in the regionHighest Poor Incomes: 291st in the regionHealthiest Citizens: 308th in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 314th in the regionLongest Average Lifespans: 314th in the regionMost Developed: 326th in the regionLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 329th in the regionLargest Manufacturing Sector: 339th in the regionMost Corrupt Governments: 350th in the regionMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 361st in the regionLargest Governments: 406th in the regionMost Devout: 419th in the regionMost Advanced Law Enforcement: 428th in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 441st in the regionTop
Most Valuable International Artwork: 477th in the regionMost Beautiful Environments: 479th in the regionSmartest Citizens: 483rd in the regionBest Weather: 499th in the regionHighest Economic Output: 518th in the regionMost Scientifically Advanced: 521st in the regionMost Politically Apathetic Citizens: 542nd in the regionMost Extensive Public Healthcare: 563rd in the regionMost Advanced Public Transport: 607th in the regionMost Advanced Public Education: 608th in the regionMost Efficient Economies: 630th in the regionLargest Black Market: 649th in the regionMost Influential: 674th in the regionLargest Trout Fishing Sector: 683rd in the regionMost Stationary: 693rd in the regionLargest Agricultural Sector: 727th in the regionMost Cheerful Citizens: 742nd in the regionLargest Information Technology Sector: 746th in the regionLargest Populations: 783rd in the regionHighest Average Tax Rates: 834th in the regionMost Eco-Friendly Governments: 878th in the region

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