by Max Barry

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Spotlight on:

National Flag

The Republic of Rob Ford


Category: Corporate Bordello
Civil Rights:
Political Freedoms:

Regional Influence: Ambassador

Location: Toronto


Rob Ford

Population695 million


The Republic of Rob Ford is a huge, efficient nation, renowned for its barren, inhospitable landscape, complete absence of social welfare, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, democratic population of 695 million Rob Fordians are effectively ruled by a group of massive corporations, who run for political office and provide their well-off citizens with world-class goods and services. Their poorer citizens, however, are mostly starving to death while being urged to go out and get real jobs. The populace has reasonably extensive civil rights, although these are mostly aimed at allowing them to buy whatever they like.

The tiny, pro-business government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Education, and Defense. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 6.2%.

The thriving Rob Fordian economy, worth 49.7 trillion Labels a year, is driven almost entirely by the private sector, which is broadly diversified and led by the Gambling industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing, Automobile Manufacturing, and Basket Weaving. Average income is 71,525 Labels, but there is a significant disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 264,076 per year while the poor average 13,664, a ratio of 19.3 to 1.

Wait staff claim to like it when odorous customers flirt with them, beggars on the street are often heard asking for spare votes, crocodile roadkill is smeared across the asphalt of the new Formula One track, and returning tourists and businessmen are detained without trial if they belong to the "wrong" religion. Crime is a problem, with the police force struggling against a lack of funding and a high mortality rate. Rob Ford's national animal is the Suburbs, which teeters on the brink of extinction due to widespread deforestation.

Rob Ford is ranked 27,934th in the world and 4th in Toronto for Highest Crime Rates, with 15.54 Crimes Per Hour.

Largest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 10,473rdLowest Overall Tax Burden: 11,123rdLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 11,438thLargest Gambling Industry: 12,332ndMost Primitive: 14,789thMost Pro-Market: 16,413thMost Avoided: 16,979thHighest Disposable Incomes: 17,637th
Largest Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Valuable International Artwork: 1st in the regionHighest Average Incomes: 1st in the regionMost Primitive: 1st in the regionLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 1st in the regionMost Advanced Defense Forces: 1st in the regionHighest Disposable Incomes: 1st in the regionLargest Basket Weaving Sector: 1st in the regionMost Avoided: 1st in the region

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Rob Ford's influence in Toronto fell from "Auxiliary" to "Ambassador".
  • : Rob Ford's influence in Toronto rose from "Ambassador" to "Auxiliary".
  • : Rob Ford's influence in Toronto rose from "Diplomat" to "Ambassador".
  • : Rob Ford's influence in Toronto rose from "Envoy" to "Diplomat".
  • : Rob Ford's influence in Toronto rose from "Duckspeaker" to "Envoy".
  • : Rob Ford was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Greatest Rich-Poor Divides.
  • : Rob Ford's influence in Toronto rose from "Handshaker" to "Duckspeaker".
  • : Rob Ford's influence in Toronto rose from "Truckler" to "Handshaker".
  • : Rob Ford's influence in Toronto rose from "Vassal" to "Truckler".
  • : Rob Ford lodged a message on the Toronto Regional Message Board.


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