The Independent State of Samoa is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by PM Tuilaepa Aiono Sailele Malielegaoi with an iron fist, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, free-roaming dinosaurs, and avant-garde cinema. The compassionate, cynical population of 24.308 billion Samoans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The enormous, corrupt, moralistic government juggles the competing demands of Defense, Education, and Administration. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Apia. The average income tax rate is 67.6%.

The frighteningly efficient Samoan economy, worth a remarkable 1,771 trillion Tala a year, is highly specialized and mostly made up of the Arms Manufacturing industry, with significant contributions from Tourism and Book Publishing. Black market activity is rampant. State-owned companies are reasonably common. Average income is 72,866 Tala, and evenly distributed, with the richest citizens earning only 3.5 times as much as the poorest.

It is now illegal for teens to view any sites except Club Kitten and My Little Donkey, pet owners must make a payment if their charges leave a deposit, foreign leaders who don't applaud PM Tuilaepa Aiono Sailele Malielegaoi's speeches are regarded as enemies of Samoa, and foreign nationals are widely distrusted. Crime, especially youth-related, is pervasive, possibly because it is difficult to make it through a day without breaking one of the country's many regulations. Samoa's national animal is the Turtle, which frolics freely in the nation's sparkling oceans.

Samoa is ranked 8,056^th in the world and 3^rd in Axis of Absurdity for Nudest, with 1,104.75 cheeks per square mile.