by Max Barry

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The No14 BassPro Shops Chevrolet of Satans Trampoline

“You'll wish you'd never been on Satan's trampoline!”

Category: Iron Fist Consumerists
Civil Rights:
Outlawed
Economy:
Frightening
Political Freedoms:
Outlawed

Regional Influence: Power

Location: Viking Europe

OverviewPoliciesPeopleGovernmentEconomyRankTrendCards

Satans Trampoline

Population42.522 billion

CapitalSatans Trampoline City
LeaderSumo Rabbit
FaithApocalyptic Lawnmowerism

Currencyweeble
Animalmetal duck

The No14 BassPro Shops Chevrolet of Satans Trampoline is a gargantuan, safe nation, ruled by Sumo Rabbit with an iron fist, and notable for its infamous sell-swords, ubiquitous missile silos, and suspicion of poets. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 42.522 billion Tony Stewart fans are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Law & Order, Defense, and Spirituality. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Satans Trampoline City. The average income tax rate is 95.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Satans Trampolinean economy, worth a remarkable 9,310 trillion weebles a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Arms Manufacturing industry, with major contributions from Uranium Mining, Woodchip Exports, and Furniture Restoration. State-owned companies are common. Average income is an amazing 218,966 weebles, but there is a large disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 953,285 per year while the poor average 31,834, a ratio of 29.9 to 1.

Takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description, the dead fish in the national rivers aren't decomposing because even bacteria can't survive the levels of toxicity, and commuters and their desktops both bemoan their hard drives. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Satans Trampoline's national animal is the metal duck, which is also the nation's favorite main course, and its national religion is Apocalyptic Lawnmowerism.

Satans Trampoline is ranked 137,327th in the world and 5th in Viking Europe for Most Stationary, with 224.11279406772 days.

Top
1%
Most Advanced Law Enforcement: 724thLargest Populations: 822ndHighest Economic Output: 983rdMost Ignorant Citizens: 1,313thLargest Mining Sector: 1,630thSafest: 1,681stLowest Crime Rates: 1,838thMost Advanced Defense Forces: 2,277thMost Valuable International Artwork: 2,358thHighest Foreign Aid Spending: 2,614thHighest Wealthy Incomes: 2,677thTop
5%
Most Conservative: 3,274thMost Advanced Public Transport: 3,351stLargest Governments: 3,709thLargest Timber Woodchipping Industry: 3,811thFattest Citizens: 4,750thHighest Average Tax Rates: 4,978thLargest Furniture Restoration Industry: 5,092ndLargest Automobile Manufacturing Sector: 5,645thMost Devout: 5,723rdHighest Average Incomes: 7,843rdLargest Pizza Delivery Sector: 7,916thMost Influential: 8,219thMost Corrupt Governments: 9,532ndLargest Manufacturing Sector: 9,725thMost Patriotic: 11,071stLargest Arms Manufacturing Sector: 12,074thMost Authoritarian: 13,241stLargest Insurance Industry: 13,875thLargest Agricultural Sector: 14,357thTop
10%
Most Subsidized Industry: 22,217thMost Popular Tourist Destinations: 23,926thMost World Assembly Endorsements: 25,292ndMost Efficient Economies: 29,689th

National Happenings

Most Recent Government Activity:

  • : Following new legislation in Satans Trampoline, commuters and their desktops both bemoan their hard drives.
  • : Following new legislation in Satans Trampoline, the dead fish in the national rivers aren't decomposing because even bacteria can't survive the levels of toxicity.
  • : Satans Trampoline was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Public Healthcare.
  • : Satans Trampoline was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Efficient Economies.
  • : Following new legislation in Satans Trampoline, military minds worry that 'the blue screen of death' on brand new operating systems may be a literal description.
  • : Following new legislation in Satans Trampoline, takeaway food bought on the weekend now comes with fifty percent more sweat and tears.
  • : Satans Trampoline was ranked in the Top 10% of the world for Most Extensive Public Healthcare.
  • : The Einherjers of Draconis Nightcrawlis was ravaged by a Zombie Burster Horde from Satans Trampoline, infecting 150 million survivors.
  • : The Einherjers of Draconis Nightcrawlis was ravaged by a Zombie Burster Horde from Satans Trampoline, infecting 240 million survivors and converting to a zombie exporter! Oh no!
  • : Satans Trampoline was ranked in the Top 1% of the world for Most Dead and Most Zombies and the Top 5% for Most Survivors.

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