The Federal Republic of Schnarchi is a gargantuan, cultured nation, ruled by Fluffy Longbottom with a fair hand, and renowned for its daily referendums, anti-smoking policies, and punitive income tax rates. The compassionate, democratic population of 15.721 billion Schnarchians hold their civil and political rights very dear, although the wealthy and those in business tend to be viewed with suspicion.

The enormous, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cruzo City. The average income tax rate is 70.7%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Schnarchian economy, worth a remarkable 1,360 trillion Feeps a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 86,537 Feeps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A government program is underway to revitalize Schnarchi's beaches, the mob and the police have recently had numerous clashes in the back alleys of Schnarchi's cities due to the government's steadfast anti-casino stance, the government is giving peace a chance, and late night adverts for breast milk co-ops regularly win pornography industry awards. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schnarchi's national animal is the Bearded Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Schnarchi is ranked 217,775^th in the world and 9,883^rd in The North Pacific for Highest Foreign Aid Spending, scoring -12.25 on the Clooney Contribution Index.