The Federal Republic of Schnarchi is a gargantuan, socially progressive nation, ruled by Fluffy Longbottom with a fair hand, and renowned for its museums and concert halls, multi-spousal wedding ceremonies, and hatred of cheese. The compassionate, democratic population of 15.248 billion Schnarchians are free to do what they want with their own bodies, and vote for whomever they like in elections; if they go into business, however, they are regulated to within an inch of their lives.

The large, liberal, outspoken government juggles the competing demands of Education, Law & Order, and Environment. It meets to discuss matters of state in the capital city of Cruzo City. The average income tax rate is 69.0%, and even higher for the wealthy.

The frighteningly efficient Schnarchian economy, worth a remarkable 1,337 trillion Feeps a year, is highly specialized and led by the Tourism industry, with major contributions from Book Publishing and Information Technology. State-owned companies are common. Average income is 87,725 Feeps, and distributed extremely evenly, with little difference between the richest and poorest citizens.

A government program is underway to revitalize Schnarchi's beaches, the mob and the police have recently had numerous clashes in the back alleys of Schnarchi's cities due to the government's steadfast anti-casino stance, the government is giving peace a chance, and late night adverts for breast milk co-ops regularly win pornography industry awards. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to the all-pervasive police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Schnarchi's national animal is the Bearded Dragon, which soars majestically through the nation's famously clear skies, and its national religion is Pastafarianism.

Schnarchi is ranked 148,318^th in the world and 6,766^th in The North Pacific for Most Pro-Market, scoring 29.14 on the Rand Index.