The Kingdom of Scottish South Africa is a gargantuan, efficient nation, remarkable for its closed borders, smutty television, and spontaneously combusting cars. The hard-nosed, hard-working, humorless, devout population of 13.113 billion Scottish South Africans are either ruled by a sleek, efficient government or a conglomerate of multinational corporations; it's difficult to tell which.

The tiny, corrupt, pro-business government is primarily concerned with Industry, with Environment and Education also on the agenda, while Law & Order and Defense are ignored. Citizens pay a flat income tax of 4.8%.

The frighteningly efficient Scottish South African economy, worth a remarkable 1,939 trillion haggis a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Beef-Based Agriculture, Information Technology, and Gambling. Black market activity is notable. Average income is an impressive 147,913 haggis, but there is a vast disparity between incomes, with the richest 10% of citizens earning 1,119,387 per year while the poor average 5,494, a ratio of 203 to 1.

The government has officially clarified that "wee on your hands to save time" does not count as proper hygiene, 4-year-olds are often found reminiscing about the 'good old days', the daily weather forecast often predicts light showers of debris, and citizens are exhausted from weekly general elections. Crime, especially youth-related, is all-pervasive, perhaps because of the country's complete lack of prisons. Scottish South Africa's national animal is the The fish, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Scottish South Africa is ranked 292,677^th in the world and 85^th in matheo for Lowest Crime Rates, with 5.16 law-abiding acts per hour.