The Second Best Colony of Second Best Puppet 199 is a colossal, orderly nation, ruled by Noah with an iron fist, and renowned for its daily referendums, public floggings, and free-roaming dinosaurs. The hard-nosed, hard-working, cynical, humorless, devout population of 6.605 billion Second Best Puppet 199ians are kept under strict control by the oppressive government, which measures its success by the nation's GDP and refers to individual citizens as "human resources."

The large, corrupt, moralistic, well-organized government juggles the competing demands of Administration, Law & Order, and Industry. The average income tax rate is 86.5%.

The frighteningly efficient Second Best Puppet 199ian economy, worth a remarkable 1,354 trillion cards a year, is broadly diversified and led by the Retail industry, with major contributions from Information Technology, Book Publishing, and Uranium Mining. Black market activity is rampant. Average income is an amazing 205,035 cards, with the richest citizens earning 5.3 times as much as the poorest.

Bands of adventurers rove the countryside searching for monsters, clergy never mention brand names for fear of losing their government subsidies, foreign spirits are hard to find due to an abundance of "Cletus and Jim Bob's Homemade Second Best Puppet 199ian Moonshine", and stockbrokers dream of getting rich by writing textbooks. Crime, especially youth-related, is totally unknown, thanks to a very well-funded police force and progressive social policies in education and welfare. Second Best Puppet 199's national animal is the legendary, which is also the nation's favorite main course.

Second Best Puppet 199 is ranked 11,225^th in the world and 265^th in Two for Lowest Crime Rates, with 98.96 law-abiding acts per hour.